Filming of Richard Curtis' latest rom-com, With All My Love, has descended into chaos after the two main protagonists were discovered by production crew 'at it hammer and tongs', just days into filming.
With All My Love tells the tale of Miles (Jack Davenport), a painfully shy Eton choirmaster and prolific letter writer, who strikes up a correspondence with brassy New York actress Bess (Courtney Cox Arquette) after accidentally posing as a West End theatre impresario. Miles is horrified when Bess arrives in the UK to attend the wedding of a mutual friend, the aristocratic Jacob (Rupert Everett) 'with hilarious consequences.'
'Miles and Bess are poles apart, it should have taken all of Jacob's wit and ingenuity, and approximately two hours of bumbling, social faux-pas and quaint English villages before they finally get it together,' revealed one script consultant. 'But instead the dirty buggers were caught getting jiggy with it in the billiard room before the first shots of Uncle Bertram's country estate were even in the can.' Curtis is reported to be 'doing his nut' and has ordered the two characters to be removed from the set while an emergency rewrite is carried out.
Despite Curtis' legendary skill at weaving together romantic storylines with mildly eccentric characters and delightfully embarrassing misunderstandings, friends believe that his two latest creations are too far gone for the script to be salvaged. 'No amount of dotty maiden aunts, spunky sister-in-laws or flamboyantly gay friends is going to get him out of this one,' revealed the film's continuity advisor. 'He's even broken with protocol and approached Jack and Courtney directly, but you know what these method actors are like - it was like trying to pull two randy dogs off each other.'
Rumour has it that the next read-through will reveal several new characters, each designed to keep Miles and Bess apart from each other long enough for the film to be completed. 'Expect tarts and bounders in abundance,' the movie's publicist announced. Already confirmed are Rupert Penry-Jones as David, the ruggedly handsome ex-fiancé, Freema Agyeman as Melissa, the nymphomaniac vicar's daughter and Peter Crouch as himself.