'Boffins' are currently engaged in heated arguments over the controversial 'Smoke up the arse' approach to better health for the good of the wider society. A schism has emerged between two factions known as 'Big-Enders', who believe the practice goes on, and the 'Little-Enders', a younger group who believe the 'Big-Enders' are deluded, talentless conspiracy theorists.
Independent observer Dr. Jonathan Swift comments; 'Ulterius cor lacerare nequit, Abi Viator et imitare, si poteris, strenuum pro virili Libertatis Vindicatorem.' (Trans.) 'Smoke enemas, my arse! Just get on with it you twats!'