Now it occurs to me as I see some more fisticuffs has broken out over the weekend (smacked bottoms and naughty step the lot of you) that we need be rather more British about this whole affair and impose some nanny-state regulations to keep this show on the road, what.
So I propose we begin our very own NB Code of Conduct to avoid the kind of foul-mouthed, unpleasant outbursts that have been so highly
entertaining distressing of late. I shall start with a few thoughts, please add to and improve as you see fit:
1) The final decision on all publication shall rest with our one true Ed, his Jofness of JoF. Such decisions shall be accepted graciously, reverently and with absolutely no reference to wankers whatsoever.
2) The permitted ratio of criticism:compliment shall be set at 1 slag-off to 5 toadies.
3) Members may only have one flounce per annum, unless relevant medical certification can be provided
4) Squirrel-licking, badger-fisting and puffin-twatting are only permitted during the allocated seasons, to ensure plentiful stock and a successful breeding programme.
5) Any accusations of racism, sexism, classism, homophobia and elitism will be duly considered by the white, middle-class straight blokes in the in-crowd.
6) Everyone is equal at NewsBiscuit. But some are more equal than others.