The Christian faith has been rocked today by startling evidence that ghost’s and the spirit world do not exist, and it’s thrown questionable doubt over the religions belief system.
Universities across the globe have run conjoined experiments for the past ten years and complied the data, the results were staggering over 4000 ghost hunts of which 3998 turned up nothing but hours and hours of disappointing video footage punctuated by the occasional fart , one showed a couple shagging and only one that cant be proven or disproved which turned out to be human error when a lens cap was left on covering the camcorder all night..
The startling news sent Derek Acorah of ‘Most Haunted’ into meltdown picking up a studio light and smashing it into Yvette Fielding’s face and declaring the games up.
Ouija board importers ‘No place for the living’ said “sales have dried up, essentially all were selling now is nothing more than a board, the cloak of mystery has gone ,its widely accepted that it was never the spirit world spelling out I W A N T T O K I L L Y O U but a drunk friend pushing the glass about , now its official we can’t give them a way.
Ghost Hunting groups across England report a rapid decrease in bookings.
Cornwall’s ghost hunting founder said: “Were trying our best to keep the idea of ghosts alive ,after all no one’s seen God but the thought of his existence has been nothing short of a marketing miracle, were going to get creative and update our website with a generic flash template and we have been busy recruiting some really old dears from the care home and some anorexics for the ghost haunts, were going to do our bit to keep the ghost hunting community spirit alive” .
Melodic Christian rock band ‘ Hope for the dying ’ remarked “ were going to have to have a radical name change . “
University staff responsible for the findings have gone in hiding for fear of reprisals
We declined to pass information that would lead Derek Acorah to any of the university staff involved with the findings.
Derek Acorah’s spiritual website is currently under construction.
At the time of writing ‘Ghostbusters’ has dropped out of Amazons top 100 dvd list.