Apple Managing Director Steve Jobs has explained that following the successful launch of products such as the iPad, iTouch and iPhone, the next natural step in the company portfolio is to patent the letter i and “begin to takeover the alphabet”.
“I have instructed lawyers to take an injunction out on anyone using the letter i. Having cornered the electronics market, diversifying into phonics seems logical and we are only talking about a 4% market share at this point. So from this moment on, the i is ours”.
Englsh language cause célèbre Lynn Truss announced that she was “horrfed by ths typographc development”, but London teenager Mchael Enrght (14), shrugged hs shoulders and rolled hs eyes, before tellng reporters that he margnalsed all the vowels from texts “snce ages ago. LOL”.
However, late last night a counter bid was made by the city of New York, keen to spend its leftover insurance money on buying the rights to its own initials. Players of the Scottish game shinty were last night monitoring progress with interest.