An emissary for the Most Reverend Father and Patriarch of the Holy Church of Environmentalism has announced that, at a recent international convocation and prayer gathering, it had been revealed to the assembled worshipers that burning alive of heretics who questioned any aspect of the teachings of the One True Church of Environmentalism was, in fact, sinful, in that, not only did the consequent combustion cause atmospheric pollution, but the act was a wasteful misuse of timber products.
Rather than just changing to the use of stakes and faggots selected from renewable timber sources, it had been revealed to the assembly of devout worshipers that the pure and virtuous means of executing perverts, deviants, heretics, non-believers, evil pawns of the Great Satan and any other climate-change deniers was to behead them and to recycle their remains in a sustainable manner.
