The town of little happening was bought to a total standstill earlier today as Bob was cremated.
Over 3 million people turned up for the ceremony saying that they were his neice / nephew. "Cries of Bob was MY uncle" could be heard for miles around.
Even people who had never actually met Bob told tales of how their own parents had often said "Bob's your uncle" thus leading them to believe that they were indeed related.
Bobs wife was unavailable for comment as she flet utterly left out - no one ever having said Margaret is your auntie.