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Bell ends playing for England Cricket Team 7 raudus 1 year
Earth's "twin planet" discovered to be cosmic dustbin 1 Son of Barnabas 4 years
TV comedy executives expecting record numbers of blowjobs at Edinburgh Festival 2 ronseal 4 years
Sarkozy offers Obama Bruni double plug 1 pumpernickle 5 years
Royal College of Organists delighted at record transplant levels 1 crlncxn 5 years
Teenage girls now too ghastly to fantasise about, complain middle-aged men 13 Mary Evans 5 years
Wayne Rooney has Brazilian on his chest ,he asks for sex 1 arrghgarry 5 years