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Football has ruined the injury career of Daniel Sturridge 11 Wrenfoe 1 year
Daniel Sturridge under investigation for ‘Biting a Sub’ at half-time 1 kga6 3 years
Relief for satirists as Team GB footballers cock it up 5 Oxbridge 5 years
Satirists praise GB football team for doing the usual 2 beau-jolly 5 years