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Aliens to stop having sex with lone American alcoholic misfits 4 Sinnick 1 year
Aliens abandon human inter-breeding programme because humans are too crap 1 Oxbridge 3 years
Anger as National Trust house-breeding plans end in fiasco 4 rikkor 5 years
Royal Mail to sell rubber band breeding farm 8 malgor 5 years
UFO aliens leave Earth after failure of human cross-breeding programme 7 sauce 6 years