http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 12:43:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24667 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:24:10 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 24667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He does rather look like one of those characters that pops up during a ghost train ride. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24666 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:19:10 +0000 mr blue 24666@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Many stars. I work in a primary school and you have pinpointed my life exactly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24658 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:02:12 +0000 Ludicity 24658@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks a lot, you bunch of sniveling toads. </p> <p><a href="http://s897.photobucket.com/albums/ac180/dr_ludicity/?action=view&amp;current=gove.jpg"><img src="http://i897.photobucket.com/albums/ac180/dr_ludicity/gove.jpg" alt="Photobucket" /></a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24655 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:45:40 +0000 Golgo13 24655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Liking your work. Cinq. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24653 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:43:31 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 24653@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quite, quite sublime. 10. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24641 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:11:10 +0000 Oxbridge 24641@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If this isn't FP by the weekend, I will personally paint Mr Gove blue. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24636 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:04:24 +0000 fernandomando 24636@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. I wonder if there is any room for saying that once the building work has been completed, the materials allow for the entire school to be 'flipped' over in order for further money saving measures to take effect. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24633 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:56:33 +0000 The All New Jeni B 24633@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What a pile of shite.<br /> Poorly written, badly constructed and a very flimsy idea to boot.</p> <p>(Not really, but I've always seen myself as more of a vole than a toad.)</p> <p>5 sticky-backed gold stars for you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24632 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:43:42 +0000 saltire 24632@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really don't think so...no...it won't do. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24627 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 14:55:03 +0000 sauce 24627@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have you seen Govie's ideas for the syllabus, Zadock? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24602 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:11:58 +0000 Zadok the second 24602@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Marvellous. And probably true. And of course Scare-teachers can always earn extra money doing Penny-for-the-guy come October.</p> <p>I always thought Building Schools for the Future was a stupid name for a programme anyway. No-one's ever built a school for the past, have they? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24598 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:01:00 +0000 sauce 24598@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ludo, I hate you. In the best possible way. 5 sycophantic stars you clever beast. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9160#post-24590 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:37:27 +0000 Ludicity 24590@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Education Secretary Michael Gove has announced that in the future all new schools will be built and maintained by the pupils. ‘This is what I mean by ‘free schools,’ he said, ‘the kids build them and it doesn't cost us a penny.’</p> <p>Mr Gove announced that from September every school pupil in England and Wales will be issued with a hammer, some nails and a pot of paint. </p> <p>‘Obviously we want them to do a good job,’ said Mr Gove, ‘which is why I have set up a range of ‘Building Academies’ in which the kids will get basic training in woodwork, bricklaying and plastering. The brighter kids can have a go at architecture while the thicker ones can focus on wolf-whistling and showing their bottoms to passers by.’ </p> <p>‘We are already well on the way to building our school,’ said nine-year-old Ollie Brownlow, ‘so far it’s got a helipad, a rocket launcher and a secret underground control centre. Of course it won’t be easy to build entirely out of crisp wrappers and milk bottle tops, but if it means getting out of double maths then we’re all very keen.’ </p> <p>Shadow Education Secretary Ed Balls has already questioned the safety of some of the new buildings. ‘Many of these schools are made from old toilet rolls held together with bits of string,’ he complained, ‘at least under Labour they would have been provided with cereal boxes and some sticky-backed plastic.’</p> <p>‘I am not too bothered by the structural stability of the buildings,’ said Mr Gove, ‘the important thing is the quality of the teaching. That is why we are also asking pupils to construct their own teachers out of twigs and old clothes. It costs a lot to train a real teacher but a ‘scare-teacher’ hardly costs anything – and, according to a recent Ofsted report, the kids treat them with a lot more respect.’ </p> <p>Mr Gove rejected allegations that the whole scheme was being funded on a shoestring. ‘It’s not just a shoestring,’ he insisted, ‘we are also providing a conker, a crayon and some half-eaten chewing gum as well.’ </p>