http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 08:17:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22576 Mon, 12 Jul 2010 20:51:58 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 22576@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rick,</p> <p>How very true</p> <p>You can't be a bishop if you don't have a purple helmet! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22574 Mon, 12 Jul 2010 20:47:47 +0000 rickwestwell 22574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for all the stars and comments, fellow biscuiteers - haven't given up hope of it making the FP yet - maybe red's wrestling with the pic... :-) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22425 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:58:02 +0000 arrghgarry 22425@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Or they could be withdrawn from little boys </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22388 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 13:33:16 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 22388@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>BiSheps? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22379 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 11:15:35 +0000 Scroat 22379@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps as a compromise, bishops could in future be drawn from the ranks of Thai shemales... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22377 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 11:08:59 +0000 sauce 22377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Class, as we've come to expect from you, Rick. 5 stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22376 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 10:48:52 +0000 Ostsee 22376@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps the C of E should recruit a special order of nuns to certify that potential bishops have what it takes. </p> <p>I love the expression 'those acorn-dicked fuckwits' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22368 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 09:11:55 +0000 Scroat 22368@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You're welcome Rick. Have some stars. This must be FP material.</p> <p>Although it could be a challenge for Red... The mind boggles. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22350 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 00:16:09 +0000 arrghgarry 22350@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I saw (maybe Qi) that the Pope is carried over a bridge(or something) pantyless so that his underlings can check that indeed he does have a willie.</p> <p>maybe its the bridge of size </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22347 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:25:09 +0000 Alan Sundry 22347@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>threatens to split the Anglican Church along genital lines</blockquote></p> <p>LOL. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22274 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 11:05:26 +0000 MightyBlair 22274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The image of a bishop's pink sausage will haunt me for a little while, me thinks. Just the kind of sub a hungover Saturday needs. Now where's my fucking bacon sandwich? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22270 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 10:52:47 +0000 Mary Evans 22270@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Puerile, childish and ridiculous.</p> <p>Five stars from me, natch. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22245 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 09:32:50 +0000 rickwestwell 22245@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all! BTW - this sub was inspired by Scroat's "because they don't have willies" remark in TOTW over on chat. Thanks, Scroaty! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22239 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 09:21:03 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 22239@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22232 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 09:04:28 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 22232@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars, just for avoiding "bishopric" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22231 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 09:03:37 +0000 edward hack 22231@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bit of a 'curate's egg' this one<br /> I agree that 'bashing the bishop' should be kept a male prerogative </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8258#post-22229 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 08:58:49 +0000 rickwestwell 22229@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Senior figures in the Church of England today called for an end to the speculation and disagreement over the ordination of women bishops, in a statement which decrees once and for all that bishops cannot properly fulfil their holy duties unless "possessed of a willy".</p> <p>The pronouncement, released this morning by the Church of England's General Synod, states that "Certain traditional rituals and obligations placed upon Bishops are in practice impossible unless fully endowed with a penis, preferably a good, long one." </p> <p>It is not immediately clear which particular rituals would actually require the use of the male member, but there has been speculation in the religious press that part of the secret process of electing new Archbishops may involve certain arcane rites in which key bible scenes are acted out using deft penis puppetry alone. Bishop of Durham Malcolm Possett is believed to be especially gifted in this regard, and his penile rendition of the parting of the Red Sea has achieved fame far beyond the strictly clerical sphere.</p> <p>Supporters of women bishops announced their extreme disappointment at the ruling, which threatens to split the Anglican Church along genital lines. "What's wrong with a fanny, for heaven's sake?" asked the Reverend Anne Renfrew, priest-in-charge of St Peter's church in Eastbourne. "Are they really saying that having a few inches of pink sausage up your cassock makes you a better Bishop?"</p> <p>Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams had until recently proposed a compromise where a female bishop would have full authority in her diocese but "in practice refrain from exercising" certain functions in a parish which are better performed by male bishops, such as seeing how far one can wee up a brick wall. This attempt to bring harmony failed miserably, when a pressure group of female priests pointed out that they could probably piss a lot further up the wall than "those acorn-dicked fuckwits in the General Synod".</p> <p>Dr Williams will make a last plea for unity among the clergy at a press conference arranged for tomorrow morning. Sources say he is hard at work finalising the exact wording of his speech, desperate to avoid any more offence. It is believed that he will urge the Church to come together and once and for all "stop bashing our bishops in public". </p>