http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 02:33:38 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19828 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 09:14:41 +0000 Griffin 19828@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just think, the person who mops up all the wee could be called an 'Incontinance Adjuster' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19782 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:42:17 +0000 Ostsee 19782@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He could always convert his establishment into an old folks home. We are going to need lots and lots and lots of these. Unemployment will be banished as every able bodied person will work in an 'Senior Citizens' home. Income tax will be a uniform 80% to pay for it all. You will not be allowed to retire until there is a vacancy in a home. Sounds like paradise to me. Long live the NHS! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19777 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:57:55 +0000 saltire 19777@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Which he can do now..'</p> <p>Well done Mr Blacker. A Trusty 5 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19776 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:53:51 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 19776@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19774 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:44:09 +0000 sauce 19774@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Meanwhile, I imagine Age Concern is sueing because the death rate is still 100% ...<br /> Have five stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19761 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 22:58:07 +0000 Mrblacker 19761@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ta </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19757 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 22:50:20 +0000 antharrison 19757@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7351#post-19746 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 22:03:45 +0000 Mrblacker 19746@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An undertaker in Oxford is taking the National Health Service to court, citing their 'unending efforts to save lives' as a reason behind his business going to the wall.</p> <p>Stephens and Sons have been carrying out funerals in the city for 153 years, but now, it's current Managing Director Barry Stephens is having to call it a day.</p> <p>"Too few people are dying these days and we just can't continue to operate as a successful business." he told reporters.</p> <p>"We've got doctors who are saving more lives than ever before, combined with government drives to cut obesity rates, smoking, deaths on the roads while absolutely no consideration is given to those of us in the age old business of burying or burning people."</p> <p>"My family has been conducting funerals of over 150 years. We've invested in some of the best coffins available, like our Winchester, which is made from the finest English oak, lined with mohair and supplied with the best quality titanium fittings. That constitutes the pinnacle of 4 generations of Stephens' technology and the Government is effectively consigning it to history."</p> <p>Mr Stephens is asking Oxford County Court to hear the case in which he's seeking damages of £2 million pounds.</p> <p>The NHS is refusing to comment, but a spokesman did say that considering Mr Stephens had a heart bypass 3 years ago, he's wanting to have his cake and eat it. Which he can do now, since the surgery was a success. </p>