http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=615 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 11:04:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=615#post-1697 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:49:33 +0000 edward hack 1697@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crackerjack - Surely the result of a troubled childhood. Leave off the curly-wurlys Ian </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=615#post-1671 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:15:36 +0000 Ian Searle 1671@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Planners at Trumpton Town Hall have stood by the plan, although it is one of several controversial decisions they have made recently.</p> <p>The first was the closure of Trumpton Fire Station and the ‘out sourcing’ of the Fire Control Centre, away from the region in Tellytubby Land. This lead to many complaints from members of the public that the operators could not be easily understood, and that they lacked basic knowledge of the area. The redundant Fire Brigade Band, under Cpatain Flack, went on to form a successful, ‘Full Monty’ style, All Male Troupe of Stippers called "Pugh! Pugh! Barney McGrew! Cuthbert! Dibble! Grubb!”.</p> <p>The second was the refusal to grant planning permission for a Wind Farm, on the land of the aptly named Windy Miller, following objections from modern mechanical farmer Jonathan Bell that it would interfere with his own waste to power incinerator. </p> <p>Mr Bell is believed to be a close friend of Lord Belborough who currently enjoys ‘non-dom’ status, and has been funding the re-election of the Mayor, and Mr Troop the Town Clerk. His Lordship fled the country after is Steam Railway, which ran between Winkstead Hall and Treddle's Wharf, was closed down under suspicious circumstances when Brackett (his butler, and Assistant Train Driver) failed to pass his C.R.B. check. The ‘gentleman’s gentleman’ then went on to form a successful stage career with a ‘friend’ called Hinge.</p> <p>However, the decision was later applauded after PC McGarry (Number 452) raided Colly's Mill and found that Mr. Miller had wanted to generate the electricity in order to power the lights for his underground cannabis factory. He had been selling his produce through the shop of Mrs. Cobbit the local florist.</p> <p>Despite this, tragedy seems to stalk the corridors of Trumpton Town Hall. Mr Dagenham, a councillor and travelling salesman, was recently revealed to be the father of Mrs Honeyman, the Camberwick Green town gossip’s, baby. He was forced to sell his open-topped convertible sports car in order to meet demands for maintenance payments from the C.S.A.</p> <p>Councillor Chippy Minton became an alcoholic after his apprentice son, Nibbs, was mauled to death by a trio of pekingese dogs (Mitzi, Daphne and Lulu) belonging to Miss Lovelace the milliner.</p> <p>Councillor Dr Mopp was struck off and sent to prison after he was found to be murdering his elderly patients, and falsifying their wills to show himself as sole beneficiary. His victims include Mr. Platt the clockmaker, Mr Cresswell owner of Cresswell's Chigley Biscuit factory, and Harry Farthing the potter. He was caught after Mr. Farthing’s daughter Winnie became suspicious.</p> <p>In other news, the cadets of Pippin Fort have just returned from their third tour of duty in Afghanistan, lead by Captain Snort and Sergeant-Major Grout. There have been repeated complaints about the suitablility of their equipment, especially the humpety bumpety army truck. </p>