http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 18:41:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16834 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 10:23:29 +0000 Des Custard 16834@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For the 'one changed letter only' category.<br /> Hypocracy: Democracy for leaders who only pay it lip service.<br /> (OK, so that's 2 letters and it's been done before, but it's Friday) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16821 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 09:16:15 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 16821@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>cronatism (adj.) A political phenomenon whereby physical resemblance and policy divergence are inversely conflated in order to facilitate resolution in the bozone and outside the electoral process.</p> <p>[This game has cheered me immensely. Many thanks.] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16800 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 08:14:15 +0000 edward hack 16800@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>vindictive - a really moorish white wine<br /> infuriate - to eat dinner wearing moleskin trousers<br /> officer - Scouser who regrets having that Afro<br /> erudite - wrong sort of healthy eating regime </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16786 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 07:05:12 +0000 Scroat 16786@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I say, I say, I say....</p> <p>What's the difference between a rich man, a poor man and a dead man?</p> <p>A rich man has a canopy over his bed. A poor man has a canopy under his bed. And a dead man canopy at all...</p> <p>I'll get me coat. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16784 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 06:55:55 +0000 sauce 16784@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great to see these again. Ta, Des. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16773 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 04:22:06 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 16773@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The next challenge is to use as many as possible in a complete sentance, i.e.:</p> <p>Lymphing along in the bozone on the first decafalon of his life, Martin was forced to concede the dopeler effect of osteopornosis, bravely biting back his resentment at glibidio in the workplace. He signed and drew his first dole payment, probably the last ever paid on the planet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16767 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:05:22 +0000 rikkor 16767@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>WARNING: An unauthorized user is employing "my ass hurts" in the tags. Until I can get "my ass hurts" and all possible variants internationally trademarked, please assume that you may be reading a corrupt, diluted version of this A-plus humo(u)-rich tag. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16761 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:50:31 +0000 The All New Jeni B 16761@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is there an echo in here? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16751 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:14:51 +0000 theumpire 16751@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aah - found it!</p> <p>This is what I mean . . . </p> <p>Cursory; A place where children learn to swear</p> <p>Mumps; Heaps of unwanted mothers</p> <p>Halitosis; Bad breath brought on by a comet</p> <p>Baccanalian; To bet on a martian</p> <p>Chiropractise; To get ready for a trip to Egypt</p> <p>Senile; What to do whilst in Egypt</p> <p>Canape; Scottish inability to settle bills</p> <p>Canneloni; Scottish refusal of your request for an Overdraft</p> <p>Acne; A dyslexics walking stick</p> <p>Warming; A Geordies chinese vase</p> <p>Binmen; Post-op Transexuals</p> <p>Groin; The ‘GO’ light in Birmingham</p> <p>Thesauras; A disorder following consumption of curry</p> <p>Amish; Similar to an Arm</p> <p>Caesarian Section; Part of a salad</p> <p>Navigate; Scandal involving road menders </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16750 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:14:22 +0000 The All New Jeni B 16750@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quaz, it was "Meaning of Lif<strong>f</strong>" - which in reality is a small village on the outskirts of Dundee, which, until recently, housed the local Mental Institution.</p> <p>Which is apt... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16749 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:04:34 +0000 theumpire 16749@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aah - found it!</p> <p>This is what I mean . . . </p> <p>Cursory; A place where children learn to swear</p> <p>Mumps; Heaps of unwanted mothers</p> <p>Halitosis; Bad breath brought on by a comet</p> <p>Baccanalian; To bet on a martian</p> <p>Chiropractise; To get ready for a trip to Egypt</p> <p>Senile; What to do whilst in Egypt</p> <p>Canape; Scottish inability to settle bills</p> <p>Canneloni; Scottish refusal of your request for an Overdraft</p> <p>Acne; A dyslexics walking stick</p> <p>Warming; A Geordies chinese vase</p> <p>Binmen; Post-op Transexuals</p> <p>Groin; The ‘GO’ light in Birmingham</p> <p>Thesauras; A disorder following consumption of curry</p> <p>Amish; Similar to an Arm</p> <p>Caesarian Section; Part of a salad</p> <p>Navigate; Scandal involving road menders </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16748 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:00:54 +0000 theumpire 16748@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Didn't all this sort of stuff feature in the ISIHAC round entitled "The Uxbridge English Dictionary". </p> <p>I seem to recollect that Graeme Garden and Willie Rushton were past masters at this type of humour. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16736 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 19:55:18 +0000 Quaz 16736@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>From Douglas Adams' "Meaning of Lif"</p> <p>Kettering - The pattern left on your buttucks after sitting in a wicker chair. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16704 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 15:02:33 +0000 theumpire 16704@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you Des - that brightened my whole afternoon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16698 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:36:28 +0000 Scroat 16698@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Restored my faith in human nature. Well, in Americans at least. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16696 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:34:36 +0000 QorbeQ 16696@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Doesn't biting their ass make it hurt? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16692 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:27:21 +0000 edward hack 16692@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent, really enjoyed that.<br /> Every one a winner<br /> Just read it again...they really are very good.<br /> Giraffiti....fantastic<br /> who said the Americans are a bunch of moaning, miserable retards who wouldn't know a joke if it jumped up and bit them on the ass.</p> <p>Could we have a go or would that be a bit naff? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6099#post-16688 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:15:50 +0000 Des Custard 16688@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I wouldn't normally share such stuff, and it may be old, but there are some good 'word' jokes that should appeal to Biscuits. There's even one for Rikkor to use right at the end.</p> <p>Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.</p> <p> The winners are:</p> <p> 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.</p> <p> 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.</p> <p> 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.</p> <p> 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.</p> <p> 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.</p> <p> 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly<br /> answer the door in your nightgown.</p> <p> 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.</p> <p> 8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.</p> <p> 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are<br /> run over by a steamroller.</p> <p> 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.</p> <p> 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.</p> <p> 12.. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.</p> <p> 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.</p> <p> 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.</p> <p> 15.. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,<br /> when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.</p> <p> 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by<br /> Jewish men.</p> <p> The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take<br /> any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or<br /> changing one letter, and supply a new definition.<br /> Here are this year's winners:</p> <p> 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops<br /> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows<br /> little sign of breaking down in the near future.</p> <p> 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose<br /> of getting laid.</p> <p> 3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the<br /> subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.</p> <p> 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.</p> <p> 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the<br /> person who doesn't get it.</p> <p> 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.</p> <p> 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.</p> <p> 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)</p> <p> 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these<br /> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's<br /> like, a serious bummer.</p> <p> 10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day<br /> consuming only things that are good for you.</p> <p> 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.</p> <p> 12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter<br /> when they come at you rapidly.</p> <p> 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after<br /> you've accidentally walked through a spider web.</p> <p> 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into<br /> your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.</p> <p> 15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in<br /> the fruit you're eating.</p> <p> And the pick of the literature:</p> <p> 16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole </p>