http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=581 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 17:58:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=581#post-1571 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:35:22 +0000 tommyenglander 1571@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The ex-Police frontman maintained that his music was 'holy and inspiring“ as he began his defence at the Hague yesterday.<br /> Sting, who has inflicted a variety of crappy albums on the public throughout the years, was captured last year in a security operation by the British music police. He is now standing trial on various counts of Crimes against Humanity, all of which he denies.<br /> The main charges against Sting are based on his classical pop album 'If on a Winters night...', which will be used as evidence in the trial. Special attention will be paid to the track 'Cold Song', which has caused misery throughout the country because of its pretenscious falcetto warbling.<br /> Sting denies all charges and maintains that his music inspires people and that he is “just an ordinary man who wants to make great music.”<br /> In his opening statements, the chief prosecutor noted, “Sting has been offloading his poncey pop/jazz tripe on us for years and it is now time that he answered for his crimes.”<br /> The trial has drawn strong reactions from people who have been were exposed to Sting's music. One man said, “I was forced to listen to a flatmate playing Sting's toss for four years and I still have not recovered. No punishment that the Hague gives him can be strong enough.”<br /> Whilst Sting has now been captured, other musicians remain free. One of the main perpretators of shitty stadium rock, Bono off of U2, remains at large and is yet to be captured. Many fear that he will die before being brought to justice.<br /> Sting's trial continues. </p>