http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 08:57:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-169448 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 23:19:25 +0000 Big Ben 169448@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He needs to start with the Gateshead branch, I won't venture in there anymore since I was found passed out from malnutrition among the disorientating collection shelving. Ironically I was looking for a slide-out larder door, in birch not beech. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-168354 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 10:49:09 +0000 dvo4fun 168354@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine work Boutros </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-168353 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 10:32:56 +0000 button 168353@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good, missed it first time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-168345 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 08:30:09 +0000 Sinnick 168345@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent FP </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-168337 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 02:08:34 +0000 Boutros 168337@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you - especially for the extra contributions and also nicely chiseled into shape by the Eds. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-168336 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 01:34:45 +0000 Bob 168336@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great FP Boutros, nicely done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167883 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 16:30:32 +0000 weematt 167883@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great stuff, just triggered a ticker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167882 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 16:29:57 +0000 weematt 167882@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great stuff, just triggered a ticker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167865 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 15:46:24 +0000 beau-jolly 167865@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've been in one in Warrington and Birmingham. I think they were very similar. I haven't checked out Southampton yet but I suspect I'm not in for any surprises.</p> <p>I have been to Sydney, Crewe and Sydney, Durham but don't remember seeing an Ikea in either. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167849 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 15:17:05 +0000 AReader 167849@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They are all the same layout worldwide. I've been in one near Sydney and one in Northern France and they're identical. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167843 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 15:05:36 +0000 Midfield Diamond 167843@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Never been to one so I'm sure I missed some of the references to Ikean customs but good idea and well-written, stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167827 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 14:08:15 +0000 Not Amused 167827@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Flat pack Stars. Very good </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167825 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:57:57 +0000 Boutros 167825@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Splåd. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167822 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:53:10 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 167822@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work boutros. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167820 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:51:25 +0000 beau-jolly 167820@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>J good. Mind you I think the new passage should be called "Gonk" or some other ridiculous made up name. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167815 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:35:13 +0000 Bob 167815@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Safely and very enjoyably navigated this sub - 5 digits from me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167806 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 12:48:27 +0000 Titus 167806@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hope he doesn't find that Amundsen gets there before him.</p> <p>Also needs to be wary of finding that parts are missing, in his case due to frostbite. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167788 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:41:29 +0000 Boutros 167788@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There are toilets in the Croydon one. Only trouble is getting to them before you wet yourself. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167784 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:12:35 +0000 Squudge 167784@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ AReader: or 'the back passage' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167783 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:12:31 +0000 medici2471 167783@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff, but I hope he keeps off the chocolate cakes as although there are plenty of rooms there aren't any toilets... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167781 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:07:25 +0000 AReader 167781@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think the fabled passage from bedrooms to kitchens should be labelled "Northwest" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167778 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:02:46 +0000 Sinnick 167778@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine sub </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167775 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:00:31 +0000 Squudge 167775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>rather nice, and not a pope in sight.</p> <p>especially liked: frozen balls of meat similar to beef </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167774 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:00:22 +0000 Tripod 167774@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Years ago I lived in the soft furnishings department of Ikea for a couple of months. By looking lost and wandering about, I attracted no attention at all, and was able to sleep in a different bed every night. Happy days...</p> <p>A good read. Stars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57873#post-167772 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 10:54:08 +0000 Boutros 167772@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>While recovering from frostbite, hapless explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes plans to create the first accurate map of IKEA, for which no useful chart exists. The explorer hopes to complete this challenging cartography feat in about four months.</p> <p>Sir Ranulph will set up base camp in Carpark Level 2, raising a Union Jack and claiming it back from the Swedes. He has allowed a week for the second stage - hand to hand combat for the possession of a complete functioning flatbed trolley - a great prize and status symbol among Ikeans. Thus equipped, he will set about mapping the interior using only the same basic tools available to the natives - a stubby brown pencil hewn from wood and a crude metre rule fashioned from coloured paper, traditionally hung about the place in decorative strips.</p> <p>Travelling light, Fiennes will sustain himself on locally-sourced supplies of frozen balls of meat similar to beef. For liquids, he is dependent upon finding the fabled never-ending spring of flat lingonberry juice.</p> <p>The main goal of the mission is to prove or disprove the existence of a passage from bedrooms to kitchens. Many say it doesn't exist. Some have died looking for it. If as expected it turns out to be a myth, Sir Ranulph has allowed a month to cut one using his flatbed trolley as a battering ram. Her Majesty The Queen has agreed to name it 'Sir Ranulph's Shortcut' in his honour, as it could shave weeks off the journey time for the nomadic Ikeans. Marching penguin-like along a barely discernable winding route, these world-weary tribespeople scavenge for shiny trinkets which they save in special yellow pouches slung on their backs, before ending their journey, exhausted and dazed, at the checkout delta.</p> <p>Sir Ranulph is planning to commence the adventure before the end of the month, just as soon as he can get through on the phone to chase up his IKEA Family card. </p>