http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 23:19:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-167225 Sun, 10 Mar 2013 19:45:20 +0000 Not Amused 167225@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Net-o winner. I'll have a pint of Slug's Ruin to toast you </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166977 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:51:33 +0000 Dick Everyman 166977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Weeds? Check Army Surplus online for end of line Napalm - works a treat and deals with next door too... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166976 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:38:49 +0000 Actual Size 166976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I found that some slugs can get a bit aggresive after a few cans of Special Brew so probably bad advice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166970 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:23:21 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 166970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent stuff, must remember to buy some more WD40... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166965 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 12:39:00 +0000 Bob 166965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed, very good 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166879 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 21:23:46 +0000 Yikes 166879@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Most excellent!</p> <p>Look forward to this popping up on the LA </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166878 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 21:04:02 +0000 Not Amused 166878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, Dvo, that's happened to me as well. </p> <p>I think I may do a bit of research on it tonight, open a few beers and see if the slugs are attracted by the empty can. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166872 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 19:57:05 +0000 writinginbsl 166872@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>midfield</p> <p>para 3- how long have you known my brother?? </p> <p>enjoyed this a lot but i despise you for your wicked sentiments</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166858 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 17:38:54 +0000 dvo4fun 166858@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good points NA. The tricky bit is remembering to leave some of the beer for the slugs. Many's the time when I've forgotten to do so and had to darn well open another can. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166857 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 17:32:40 +0000 Not Amused 166857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just to add a bit of balance. </p> <p>Mrs NA enjoys her gardening and we have reached the state where she has accepted that nagging doesn't work so she does all the gardening. </p> <p>One of the odd benefits I discovered a few years ago were cans of beer appearing in the kitchen without me buying them. Apparently they are good for killing slugs. So I can buy beer and 'help' with the gardening at the same time. </p> <p>Opening the top of a good compost heap and looking at the civilisation of ants that has grown up inside it is quite something as well. Just make sure you don't stay there for too long or they tend to colonise you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166855 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 17:27:50 +0000 button 166855@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work MD. 5 stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166847 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 16:40:45 +0000 Squudge 166847@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Midfield - have you considered a nice flat perhaps?<br /> With a balcony to sit on and tan your bits? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166844 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 16:19:22 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 166844@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was house hunting last summer and one of the things we (she) wanted on the new house was a decent-sized garden. On average we had about one Saturday in 4 where it wasn’t pissing down. So during one of those rare, dry Saturdays, while I was out in the garden cutting the grass I asked “why do we want a garden in the new house when the only time we ever spend in the garden is to cut the fucking grass?”</p> <p>Seemed like a reasonable question to me. Needless to say, the house we ended up buying has a decent-sized garden. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57543#post-166839 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 15:59:36 +0000 Midfield Diamond 166839@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>What is the purpose?</strong><br /> The main purpose of gardening is the avoidance of grief for the garden looking a mess. This breaks down into two forms of nagging. Firstly, grief for the front garden looking so much worse than next door’s, where the occupants are retired and spend all their time (and all their kids’ inheritance) on making their front garden look like something out of Ground Force. And secondly, grief for the back garden not being an attractive place to lie in on the rare occasions when the weather is suitably warm and sunny.</p> <p><strong>When should I do it?</strong><br /> The best time to do gardening is when she wants to lie down in the garden because the weather is suitably warm and sunny. Breaking out the power tools and other noisy electrical equipment to disturb the peace and quiet of a lazy Sunday afternoon in the sunshine can be a real pleasure.</p> <p><strong>What does it involve?</strong><br /> There are lots of aspects to gardening but going berserk for an hour or two with a chainsaw and a hedge trimmer makes a real difference to a garden. Trees, hedges and bushes all benefit from ‘regular pruning’ as professional gardeners call it, although ‘annual indiscriminate mutilation’ would perhaps be more accurate for most of us. </p> <p><strong>How often should I mow the lawn?</strong><br /> On average, about once every three nags. There is quite an overhead in getting the mower out, finding that it’s completely bunged up, taking it to bits on the kitchen table, spraying everything with WD-40 and then reassembling it, so it’s best to wait until you have a decent depth of grass to cut to make all that effort worthwhile.</p> <p><strong>What's weeding all about?</strong><br /> Weeding is the removal of the undesirable parts of the plant kingdom from your garden – the horticultural equivalent of ethnic cleansing. Weeds are scum that must be attacked mercilessly with spades and weedkiller sprays. No chemical has yet been invented that is too evil to be used on weeds, even if it risks the health of your children and pets.</p> <p><strong>How can I tell if it’s a weed or a flower?</strong><br /> You can’t. Flowers are divided into two groups: daffodils and not-daffodils. If it doesn’t look like a daffodil, it could be a weed so lay waste to it, just to be on the safe side. The bastard thing will only grow again anyway, just like the lawn you’ve just mown and all the other plants you’ve just cut down to size.</p> <p><strong>So are you telling me that gardening is a total waste of time?</strong><br /> Yes. </p>