http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 09:31:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165716 Sat, 02 Mar 2013 00:14:41 +0000 shaggy 165716@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:</p> <p>First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.<br /> She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.</p> <p>The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.</p> <p>But the jewel in the crown has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. </p> <p>Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single fucking day.</p> <p>Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165706 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 23:34:46 +0000 Skoob1999 165706@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is that you??? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165705 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 23:31:58 +0000 LensCap 165705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry wrong board. Meant to post this on the Scooby Doo fans forum. God I love that Daphne!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165689 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 22:37:18 +0000 Lens Cap 165689@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think your confused shaggy. Call me a cunt when I criticise you, but not when I haven't bothered. You have shown you like a tantrum so I don't bother. So stand down general </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165677 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:33:14 +0000 shaggy 165677@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry! I meant LensCrap of course, keep forgetting who has the arms at the moment! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165676 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:31:14 +0000 shaggy 165676@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can you clarify TB? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165652 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:25:31 +0000 Truebiscuit 165652@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just to be clear, this is an incoherent, rambling pile of shit that is basically a waste of thousands of years of evolution. It's so bad, it actually sucks funny out of surrounding posts.</p> <p>Awful, talentless, humourless plop. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165647 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:13:52 +0000 nickb 165647@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nurse! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165641 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:56:38 +0000 sponge finger 165641@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>are those tags about the sub or about Ross himself? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165639 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:50:05 +0000 Truebiscuit 165639@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm not LensCap, that's just someone else that hates you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165637 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:33:56 +0000 shaggy 165637@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>LensCap - brilliant stuff, although you missed out 'cunt', unforgivable in a troll of your erxperience.</p> <p>You may have got rid of the rest of them but you will have to try a lot harder to get rid of me - I promise the day you post something funny I will leave forever. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165631 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:20:40 +0000 Truebiscuit 165631@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can see why. I lose interest as soon as I see the word 'Shaggy' next to a post.</p> <p>It makes me think 'that's a shame, that fucking moron still hasn't lost interest and pissed off.'</p> <p>Your posts are like little comedy black-outs on the board. I'm not saying the rest of the stuff posted here is good, but compared to your shit it looks like the fucking piss bollocks fuck toss wank arse. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165621 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 17:16:33 +0000 shaggy 165621@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It needed a better ending I agree, trouble is I lose interest once I've shot my load the first time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165620 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 17:13:57 +0000 Golgo13 165620@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can I slag off the last line? The "unavailable for comment" ending? It's a cop-out.</p> <p>It would be better if you said "...and then he woke up and it had all been a dream." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165602 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 15:56:51 +0000 shaggy 165602@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good point perks, but doesn't really matter if no-one likes it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165587 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:37:04 +0000 fink 165587@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can I suggest changing the rest? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165586 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:34:34 +0000 Perks 165586@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can I suggest changing the opening line. It fits a rolling news channel but not a newspaper/BBC website etc </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57175#post-165584 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:22:02 +0000 shaggy 165584@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So called ‘edgy funny man’ Jonathan Ross has been at it again, bragging about his sexual conquest of an elderly couple’s daughter.</p> <p>Ross, 55, said that ‘he hadn’t had such a good night for years’, and that he ‘was jolly well going to do it again some time soon.’</p> <p>All this apparently took place yards from where her parents lay awake, praying for it to stop.</p> <p>Ross tried to play the scandal down afterwards, saying ‘it was his wife’ and they were ‘at the in-laws for the night.’</p> <p>It was all a dream! </p>