http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57170 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 10:36:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57170#post-165609 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:29:17 +0000 shaggy 165609@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>errr yes, Satan taking over the Earth and Universe may even get Princess Di off the front page of the Express - you heard it here first. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57170#post-165593 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 15:15:54 +0000 Sinnick 165593@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not really a proposed spoof news article, is it ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57170#post-165588 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:39:41 +0000 fink 165588@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What's the point, really? I couldn't even get halfway through - did it develop into a joke in the last para, or something? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57170#post-165575 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 13:44:41 +0000 shaggy 165575@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dressed in an Armani suit with gold cufflinks and MCC tie, the Ruler of the Darkness looked every inch the modern business executive. I entered his massive penthouse suite apprehensively, but he greeted me with a wide smile and a firm handshake. “Welcome Andrew.” he said “How do you like the place?” The panoramic views across the Thames to St Pauls, Westminster and Tower Bridge took your breath away.</p> <p>“You’re a lucky man Andrew” he continued before I could reply, “I don’t often give interviews – well not for the last few hundred years anyway.” He seemed to think this was funny and chuckled quietly to himself. Just for a second the mask seemed about to slip. “So why now then?” I asked, remembering that I was a reporter.</p> <p>“Because the time has come. We are ready to take over.”</p> <p>“Take over?“ I asked. “Take over what?” </p> <p>“Everything Andrew, everything. Heaven and Earth and all that is in-between. Our forces have never been stronger. We are everywhere. We’ve controlled the big corporations for a long time obviously, but there’s hardly an institution left where the love of mammon is not the overriding mantra – governments, the UN, the EU – you name it, they are all ours.”</p> <p>“But God, religion, the church. The good guys, they’ll stop....”</p> <p>“Pah!” he spat contemptuously and for the first time I could detect real passion in his voice. “Religion! </p> <p>“Your churches are leaderless or destroying themselves with bitter conflict, your charities have become big business and your hospitals leave people to die covered in faeces! God may be in his heaven, but he hasn’t got much company there!”</p> <p>“But, but people won’t stand for it.” I stammered. “They don’t want you running things...”</p> <p>“I disagree Andrew, most will probably welcome it. They’ll want to know what’s in it for them.” He paused, “Besides, as I was saying to Tony last night, it’s too late now, it’s out of my control to stop it.”</p> <p>He was still speaking, but I wasn’t listening any more, I was just looking. Black smoke and leaping flame seemed to be coming from the top of his head, but as he turned slightly I could see that the source was behind him. Across the river St Paul’s Cathedral had burst into flame.... </p>