http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5706 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 02:03:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5706#post-15585 Sat, 05 Jun 2010 09:05:48 +0000 MightyBlair 15585@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely stuff, Stan. But secretly you are a closet BGT fan, aren't you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5706#post-15567 Sat, 05 Jun 2010 06:02:30 +0000 Stan Laurel 15567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It has been confirmed that this year’s series of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ will be the last of its kind following a EU ruling that will force the talent contest to be opened up to all European Union citizens. In a statement, Foreign Secretary, William Hague admitted that today’s Daily Telegraph’s exposé was mostly true although he did ‘not necessarily accept’ the newspapers assertion that the show would feature a load of filthy foreigners and the divine Amanda Holden would be replaced by a German woman who never shaved her armpits.’ </p> <p>A Brussels based EU spokesman confirmed that equal opportunities rules meant that the competition has to be offered to the wider pool of European talent. ‘We are unable to see the difficulty.’ he said, barely disguising his foreign accent. ‘After all, British citizens will be free to take part in similar shows on the continent, such as the long running Luxembourg’s Got Talent which has still to find a winner after twenty years.’</p> <p>‘On reflection, this could be pretty good news,’ said Simon Cowell, the overly groomed ITV impresario, last night. ‘The quality of the British talent has been far too impressive this year. The trouble is that the really rubbish Brits are just not prepared to get off their sofas and audition. We can’t keep regurgitating the same old stuff up year after year.’</p> <p>‘By going abroad we will be able to plumb new depths in our new ‘Europe’s Got Talent’. For instance, I understand there’s a bloke in Normandy who can cut his toenails in time to the Marseillaise whilst balancing on a statue of Napoleon Bonaparte with a finger up his nose. Now, that’s the sort of talent we’re looking for.’</p> <p>Sean Sheehan, who made this year’s BGT semi-finals, was angry about the change. ‘It’s just the sort of thing I was protesting about in my song.’ said the patriotic 66 year old, who sang about chopping wood whilst dressed as a crusader. ‘I suppose they will come over here and pinch our pantomime appearances. They should stick to what they’re good at. Like Eurovision and driving buses.’ </p>