http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 23:44:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-165072 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 20:35:26 +0000 Yikes 165072@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good alright .. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-165040 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 15:12:41 +0000 charlies_hat 165040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep - very (n)ice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-165038 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:31:32 +0000 Dick Everyman 165038@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very funny, I literally laughed my bollocks off and will be sending them to IKEA's food processing plant ;0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-165027 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:26:18 +0000 rickwestwell 165027@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it, wallster! Great NIB, could easily have been an excellent FP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-164914 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:45:38 +0000 button 164914@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent (sorry Golgo) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-164908 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:34:44 +0000 Squudge 164908@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>splendid - let us hope his defrosting digit gets mistaken for a nasty horses d'ovre by that Kerry Kaytona </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-164887 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:32:24 +0000 pinxit 164887@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>D'oh.... beat me to it wallster. Good stuff.</p> <p>It'll make a change from the usual saddle of horse you get at Aldi's. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-164885 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:29:06 +0000 Truebiscuit 164885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fucking brilliant. Don't forget to leave similar glowing praise for my piss funny pork sword. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56927#post-164875 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:37:27 +0000 wallster 164875@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The last piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes has fallen off due to extreme frostbite.</p> <p>The 68 year old Victorian throwback had been attempting to cross the frozen aisle in Aldi when his last remaining appendage succumbed to the icy conditions.</p> <p>Sir Ranulph, long known for cutting the dead black bits off his feet in extreme climates, was hoping to hang on to the rigid piece of dying flesh long enough to carry his bag of deep frozen chipolatas to checkout no 9.</p> <p>However, despite several attempts to reattach the necrotised member by the budget supermarket's crack first aid team, Sir Ranulph finally admitted that his exploring days were over.</p> <p>'It's extremely disappointing' said the mad old adventurer, 'After 18 months of preparation and extensive training from the cold meat section of Lidl to the chest freezers of Netto, to come this close; only to have the last piece of my withered, crystalline flesh shatter on the beige tiled aisles of Aldi is a most distressing end to my magnificent career.'</p> <p>Scientists are hoping to take DNA samples from the deeply permafrosted chunk of decayed digit, in the hope that one day, cloned copies of the Arctic roller's bodyparts can be reproduced for sale in the form of burgers, meatballs and dinosaur shaped, breadcrumbed nuggets.</p> <p>In the meantime however, fans of the great outdoorsmen of the moment, will have to content themselves with Ray Mears' rat and nettle ready meals, and slices of meachanically reclaimed Billy Bear Grylls sausage. </p>