http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:55:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164734 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:02:42 +0000 Idiot 164734@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This clears a few things up for me, thank you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164733 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:01:03 +0000 Perks 164733@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll be honest, I'm positioning myself for A job at the bbc the next election night coverage </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164729 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:55:34 +0000 Carter 164729@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At last I understand. Thanks for the explanation - five stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164716 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 18:59:06 +0000 Squudge 164716@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>lovely work.</p> <p>I bet at least one of the candidates is irked at having to hastily re-word his manifesto </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164708 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 17:06:27 +0000 Scroat 164708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't like 'manifesto'. This should be changed to 'personfesto' surely. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164705 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 16:10:52 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 164705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164702 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 15:58:45 +0000 AReader 164702@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164683 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 14:14:37 +0000 button 164683@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent work Perks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164682 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 14:12:11 +0000 Midfield Diamond 164682@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff Perks.</p> <p>The real proof that JoF would fit in in the House of Commons could see him compiling Jof-favourable and opposition-cynical extracts from all the various subs about this by-election into one article, conveniently ignoring all those bits that criticise him or his party. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164616 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 08:59:23 +0000 Sinnick 164616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's all so much clearer now, and I understand what a bi-erection is now. 5 votes for you.</p> <p>I look forward to this being a Left Alert, but for balance must also be a Right Alert and a Monster Raving Loony Alert. LibDems are in the middle, so don't affect the balance, or anything else for that matter.</p> <p>Typo, 1st line: missing space in "a lot" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164612 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 08:01:17 +0000 Yikes 164612@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gets my vote .. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164606 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 02:31:43 +0000 dvo4fun 164606@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work &amp; style Perks. Typo 'too' in last line </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164601 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:31:02 +0000 Perks 164601@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers Mr Squirrel. It would be nice if he did, but the beauty of it is if he doesn't, any of them can! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164600 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:08:50 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 164600@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one Perks, 5 from me. Left alert for sure. </p> <p>I'll be listening in to hear if JoF uses your 'one size fits all' manifesto. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164597 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:02:22 +0000 Perks 164597@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Over the next week, you will be hearing alot about the Eastleigh by-election. But what is a by-election and why do Eastleigh get one and not you? Well fear not, your questions are answered in this... <strong>Idiots' guide to the Eastleigh by-election</strong></p> <p><strong>What is a by-election?</strong></p> <p> A by-election is like a general election, but only for people who elected someone with dubious moral standards the first time round. The term ‘by-election’ has caused some confusion in Eastleigh with the Conservative candidate hesitant to stand. ‘I am totally against gay marriage on bigoted grounds so the thought of having an election for Bisexuals is hard to swallow. However it turns out it’s a vote for anyone, so I will stand and fight for the swing voters'.</p> <p><strong> Where is Eastleigh?</strong></p> <p> A great question, that until recently not even all the candidates could answer. Eastleigh is in the county of Hampshire and is a short drive from Southampton. There have been some complaints that the Labour candidate would not be part of the community if elected. These fears were eased when the candidate promised to save Eastleigh on his TomTom and visit the town every night on Google maps.</p> <p> <strong>Why does Eastleigh need a by-election?</strong></p> <p> As mentioned before, sometimes when people cast their vote in a general election, they chose the wrong answer. That’s exactly what happened in Eastleigh in 2010. The outgoing MP suffered from an amazing case of amnesia regarding speeding points he passed to his wife. Luckily for everyone involved, his son managed to jog his memory with the clinically approved treatment of threats. To try and boost their chance of success, the Lib Dem candidate has had a CRB check, and urged Nick Clegg to stay away.</p> <p><strong>What do the parties stand for?</strong></p> <p>We have produced this ‘one size fits all’ manifesto for you.</p> <p> The [<em>insert party name</em>] believe that growth in the local economy is the key to success in [<em>insert town</em>]. If elected, [<em>insert candidate name</em>] will be the voice of local people at a national level. [<em>Insert candidate name</em>] and the [<em>insert party name</em>] have listened to the constituents on the doorstep and know that things are hard for people in the current economic climate, but [<em>insert name</em>] will do everything in their power to ensure real change for the residents of [<em>insert town name</em>].</p> <p> So there is your brief guide to the Eastleigh by-election. For those that are eligible, go and cast your vote. For those who are not eligible, if you want a by-election of your very own, go and find some dirt on your current MP and force them to resign. It shouldn’t take too long. </p>