http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 20:27:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164872 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:21:41 +0000 Titus 164872@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"... the young ones go out, get pissed and build webs across doorways at just the right height for it to go in a person's face ..."</p> <p>Until I read this, I hadn't realised that they did this <em>deliberately</em>. Now that I have learned this, I <em>really</em> hate the spindly-legged little bastards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164870 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:15:19 +0000 dvo4fun 164870@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Slow burner. But they cut my favourite line </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164867 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:29:52 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 164867@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks dvo, was very surprised to see it there. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164864 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:00:20 +0000 dvo4fun 164864@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely NiB PS </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164205 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 01:25:20 +0000 The All New Jeni B 164205@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ridiculous, silly and poignant, all in one sub.</p> <p>I felt for Barry, I really did. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164204 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 01:19:08 +0000 dvo4fun 164204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I particularly liked </p> <p>"I give them a quick bop on the back of the head and carry them back to my semi-detached web. I drain their bodily fluids and use it in my home brewing kit. Tastes a bit funny mind you but I'm drinking for effect not taste." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164195 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 00:10:31 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 164195@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Squudge. I'm too late to edit it now I'm afraid. One of the other writers actually did a piece on the wing mirror spider last year</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42407#post-121217">wing mirror spider</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164186 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 20:53:45 +0000 Squudge 164186@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>love it.</p> <p>You could change that last line to be a sad tale of those thrill-seeking spiders that build webs in the wing-mirrors of cars, addicted to 'fast food'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56745#post-164169 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 17:42:52 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 164169@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Barry is a prematurely grey, slightly balding tarantula. He arrived in the UK last year in a box of bananas, and made landfall in a Tesco Metro in the centre of Chesterfield. Very soon he took to drink to ease the pain of loneliness and homesickness.</p> <p>"I used to have it all" explained Barry. "I lived in a nice spot near Florida, had all the food I could eat, and spent the weekends chasing the ladies. Good times, good times".</p> <p>Since his arrival in the UK Barry has been shunned by the local spiders and is fed up with people taking one look at him and running away quickly while screaming. So he hit the bottle, blue bottles in fact.</p> <p>"I give them a quick bop on the back of the head and carry them back to my semi-detached web. I drain their bodily fluids and use it in my home brewing kit. Tastes a bit funny mind you but I'm drinking for effect not taste."</p> <p>Barry's alcoholism spiralled out of control and before long he couldn't catch enough flies to survive. Luckily one evening when he was terrorising the revellers about the town, he spotted a flyer for the ASA (Alcoholic Spiders Anonymous).</p> <p>"They took me in and gave me a cup of tea and a piece of fruit fly cake. I was amazed to find that alcoholism amongst spiders was a big problem not just in Chesterfield but all across Britain."</p> <p>With the help of his support group Barry has completely turned his life around and is now working to help other spiders. </p> <p>"Spiders have a bad enough image as it is. But the young ones go out, get pissed and build webs across doorways at just the right height for it to go in a person's face. It reinforces the belief that spiders are sneaky bastards and are not to be trusted".</p> <p>"Although it is amusing to watch them running about with arms flailing" he added. </p>