http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 21:32:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164302 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:43:11 +0000 sydalg 164302@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks, PB, if it's not put up I'll blame the Eastleigh by-election. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164196 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 00:11:02 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 164196@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really liked the story too. Good luck with it sydalg! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164181 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 20:24:30 +0000 Titus 164181@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How 'bout (either as a final para, or elsewhere) sudden difficulties due to the would-be stalker not being able to remember what the ex-celebrities looked like, and no-one being able to find any photographs anywhere ... or what they were well-known for ... or what their names were...?</p> <p>Wants to be better worded that that, though. Anyone? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164178 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 18:52:42 +0000 sydalg 164178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all.<br /> Too late to edit the title, but "cash" would likely be better. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164175 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 18:29:31 +0000 Sinnick 164175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agree with that. I'd also probably spell "off-licence" like this.</p> <p>Also, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but the story might lack a little edge, or old-fashioned nastiness. Don't be shy, get stuck in. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164173 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 18:18:42 +0000 theinvisiblecitychannels 164173@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Change 'money' for 'cash' in the title. Not really sure why, makes the whole venture sound more grubby? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164171 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 18:13:46 +0000 theinvisiblecitychannels 164171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Since becoming a forgotten celebrity stalker Kevin has been offered his own reality TV show with Sky, a magazine deal with Closer and will be appearing on Day Break. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164168 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 17:32:46 +0000 Gerontius 164168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work sydalG<br /> Er...might you be NB's very first cross dresser?<br /> It's OK, you've come to the right place.<br /> You're with friends here.<br /> They're very supportive. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164167 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 17:26:31 +0000 Tripod 164167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Keith Chegwin, no stranger to showbiz oblivion</blockquote></p> <p>Nice... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164164 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 17:13:22 +0000 sydalg 164164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the suggestions, I took your advice on the ending, though I don't know if I rounded it off quite right. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164152 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 15:31:56 +0000 Sinnick 164152@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fully agree with Titus, and the last para dilutes rather than reinforces (mixed metaphor there).</p> <p>Why not suggest some candidates: Keith Chegwin, Ben Elton, Jimmy Hill, etc, with a little anecdote. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164150 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 15:07:10 +0000 Titus 164150@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This whole idea almost sounds like a sensible enterprise - believability is always the mark of true satire. 5* from me.</p> <p>I loved the quote: "One 1980s game show host, who desperately wished to be named ..."</p> <p>Not sure about the last paragraph though. Seems to inject a sudden and inappropriate tone of sensible prudence and caution. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164138 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 14:02:47 +0000 sydalg 164138@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't know how this will work out, but I've given it a shot:</p> <p>Kevin Lawrence of Leicester has been out of work for four years now, but he's not content to sit around and wait for someone to knock on his door with a job offer. He has come up with an idea which he thinks could make him some money and revolutionise the fame game in the process. </p> <p>“I spend maybe seven or eight hours a day watching channels like UK Gold, and I'm constantly asking myself, 'Where are they now?' or 'Is he dead yet?' and I'm thinking what those failed stars need is a hand up with a good dose of stalking publicity”. Mr Lawrence says that for the right price he could give any of these unfortunates the sort of attention they haven't enjoyed in years.</p> <p>He has devised a list of services in a descending order of roles – everything from the lovesick admirer who threatens to jump off a bridge, to the fan who merely recognises the hapless has-been at the local off-licence. “It depends what they can afford, really”, he says. </p> <p>There has been some positive reaction from the entertainment industry. One 1980s game show host, who desperately wished to be named, said, “I have to admit to some pangs of jealousy when I read about a psychiatric patient being arrested in possession of a machete in some successful TV star's backyard”. </p> <p>Meanwhile Keith Chegwin, no stranger to showbiz oblivion, hails this as a wonderful innovation, but regrets that it comes too late for him. "I'd have given anything for a service like that during my years as a resting TV star", he says. "I often remember stumbling home from the pub at night and looking hopefully around for someone lurking behind me, but to no avail. There were even days when I'd have welcomed a bit of excrement through my letterbox, but all I got was fliers from the local pizza outlet. If it wasn't for my comeback in <em>Dancing on Ice,</em> I'd probably be looking for this guy's number." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164136 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 13:54:33 +0000 FlashArry 164136@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good idea - merits expansion </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164129 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 12:32:20 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 164129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have some stars. All manner of possibilities with this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56729#post-164121 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 11:16:55 +0000 sydalg 164121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p>