http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:51:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163413 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 18:19:23 +0000 Lens Cap 163413@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some new puns and jokes on the subject, and I like the headline, but the subject is a bit worn and you should have done better. Sorry, I'm NAGging </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163411 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 18:16:29 +0000 Titus 163411@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Horse says "I had a lucky escape - they asked me if I wanted to go to an ABBA tour" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163332 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 12:02:42 +0000 Squudge 163332@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>&lt;loads shotgun sadly&gt; </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163314 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 10:12:22 +0000 dvo4fun 163314@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I see you've gone for the 'all you can eat' option there perks </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163308 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 09:25:57 +0000 Titus 163308@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Sinnick: yes, as someone else has said already, this has gone on furlong enough. (There: no mention of aforementioned animals. OK?) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163305 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 09:12:59 +0000 Sinnick 163305@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If only someone could manage a joke with mentioning horse ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163295 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 06:36:09 +0000 Perks 163295@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm embarrased. I hang my head in shame. If you want to play a game of counting all the puns/jokelets there are, the winner can have a bus ticket I found in my wallet from 2010.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163293 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 05:52:54 +0000 Yikes 163293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could slip in some horse doeuvres before the mane course ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56508#post-163292 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 03:20:23 +0000 Perks 163292@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s economic output is being put at ‘serious risk’, according to the office of national statistics, because of the amount of time wasted at work with people searching for or creating ‘horse-based jokes and puns’. The report states ‘this hurdle to economic growth leaves us racing towards a decline in GDP and an odds-on certainty of a triple dip recession. We need everyone to change course because this Ascott out of hand.’</p> <p>A survey by the pollsters ‘Gallop’ has shown 92% of people have been affected by the horse joke epidemic, with half of those saying they have been groomed online. The spread of equine humour has been humanely put down to the surprise discovery of horse meat in supermarket food and revelation that abattoirs in this country kill horses for meat. One expert said ‘the process is the same as other animals. They are stunned, killed and in what is a final insult to a horse, he is hung like a cow.’</p> <p>This is the first major scandal involving horses since the year two thousand a-neigh-t, when a man had his hands cut off for stealing metal horse accessories in Gloucestershire, where they still practice ‘farrier law’. Eyewitnesses at the time reported being shoed away.</p> <p>The report’s author has warned that people are now choosing not to work, opting instead to try and get their horse joke fix on the black-beauty market. ‘Some really bad quality jokes are selling for as much as a Grand; National action must now be taken’ he claims, a suggestion rejected by work and pensions secretary, William Haygue.</p> <p>The conclusion of the report has saddled the Government with the blame, and says the open trade of horse jokes on our high street is needed. ‘The benefit of allowing shops to sell horse jokes and puns would help us get back to a stable economy. We propose launching the scheme with a sale on jokes about horse hair being the mane event.’</p> <p>Horse Joke shops are now available in all major shopping centaurs. </p>