http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5650 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 11:36:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5650#post-15423 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 11:29:08 +0000 Jimmy 15423@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good idea. Needs more jokes though. Some ideas:</p> <p>-Canaries being painted orange to fit in with EJ livery (could be good graphic here with pythonesque image of canary being dipped in paint can).</p> <p>-Canary chirping to be made into advertising campaign to highlight EJ's "cheap cheap prices".</p> <p>-Trade Union leader needs to be a caricature of northern pit miner types, all "by'gummage" and "when I were a lad" and "t'down pit tint's black over will's mothers". Not sure the safety coalminers joke is really working, needs a bit extra here. Or maybe having Philip Hammond counter by saying 'coal-miners are basically canaries anyway' in terms of brain activity and high-visibility outfits.</p> <p>-Rynair fighting cutbacks by replacing engines with fleet of canaries to pull the damn passengers</p> <p>-final joke? No use getting in a flap over it. Spitting feathers. Norwich town fc. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5650#post-15414 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 10:16:41 +0000 Ostsee 15414@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. Take five. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5650#post-15392 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 08:57:37 +0000 Ludicity 15392@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, I did post the safety canary idea a while ago but it seemed worth a rewrite in the light of EasyJet's announcement. And it provides an opportunity to post a picture of a somewhat aggrieved looking canary.</p> <p><a href="http://s897.photobucket.com/albums/ac180/dr_ludicity/?action=view&amp;current=canary.jpg"><img src="http://i897.photobucket.com/albums/ac180/dr_ludicity/canary.jpg" alt="Photobucket" /></a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5650#post-15388 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 08:52:33 +0000 Ludicity 15388@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>All EasyJet planes are to be fitted with a ‘safety canary’, to provide an early warning system against flying into clouds of dangerous volcanic ash. </p> <p>‘The canary system is foolproof,’ said EasyJet chief executive, Andy Harrison,‘the little bird is fitted to the nose cone of the plane and sings along happily to itself. However, if the plane enters an ash cloud it will start to cough and splutter, telling the pilot that it may be time to change course.’</p> <p>However, animal lovers are concerned. ‘These creatures are being shamelessly exploited,’ said animal rights campaigner, Carla Lane, ‘what kind of life is it for these defenceless little birds to be locked up in a cage and left swinging from the nose cone of an Airbus A319? And I absolutely refuse to pay EasyJet's £5 canary surcharge.'</p> <p>Mr Harrison rejected the criticism: ‘For most domestic canaries this is the best chance they will ever get to fly. They will see the world and be given as much cuttlebone as they can eat.’</p> <p>However, the unions remain unconvinced. ‘These safety canaries might sound like a good idea,’ said UNITE leader, Tony Woodley, ‘but they are unfocused little birds who are easily distracted by jingly bells and their own reflection. Our members would prefer to see the use of tried and tested ‘safety coal miners’ who have lungs specially attuned to identifying all the many varieties of dust.’</p> <p>Transport Secretary, Philip Hammond welcomed the decision: 'these safety canaries are a victory for common sense. And if any of them do die then they also make a tasty alternative to airline food.’ </p>