http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56362 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 00:41:59 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56362#post-162791 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 17:04:26 +0000 AReader 162791@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>10 points for not mentioning horsemeat but -6 points for some terrible puns </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56362#post-162784 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 16:31:14 +0000 Smart Alex 162784@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Q. Why do so many Americans carry guns?</strong></p> <p>A. Constitutionally, Americans were meant to be allowed to 'bare' arms (i.e. wear T-shirts and Sleeveless vests. However, due to an unfortunate typo, the right to 'bear' arms is now part of the constitution. This is not the same as the right to arm bears which is far more dangerous and can end up getting grizzly.</p> <p><strong>Q. OK, so Americans are allowed to carry guns - but what about background checks?</strong></p> <p>A. When you enter a gun store you will be required to stand in front of something. This means that you now have a background and can legally buy pretty much any offensive weapon you like.</p> <p><strong>Q. You mention offensive weapons. Can you explain the difference between an offensive weapon and a defensive one?</strong></p> <p>A. Yes. It depends a lot on your standpoint. For instance, if you are standing at the handle end then it is defensive. Standing at the other end tends to colour your perspective somewhat.</p> <p><strong>Q. What is the view of the NRA?</strong></p> <p>A. The NRA is the National Rifle Association. They keep banging on about how more guns act as a deterrent and therefore make things safer. This is why places like Texas, Mississippi, and Helmund Province are amongst the safest places on the face of the planet, whilst you'd be taking your life in you hands should you choose to visit, say, Copenhagen.</p> <p><strong>Q. I understand that some people are asking for an upper limit on the size of magazines. How will this help?</strong></p> <p>A. The trouble with large magazines is that they tend to upset fellow passengers when travelling on public transport. However small magazines necessarily have smaller fonts and pictures and can ruin your eyesight (particularly so with certain magazines).</p> <p><strong>Q. Can you explain about 'going postal'?</strong></p> <p>A. Going postal is an expression that arose due to the number of shootings carried out by disgruntled postal employees. Fortunately, most members of the public are less likely to be killed this way than to find a card in the mailbox saying, 'I attempted to deliver an horrific death to you today but no-one was in'. </p>