http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56052 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 03:29:55 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56052#post-161959 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 12:17:24 +0000 Mik Bulk 161959@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>theonewithnothingtooffer, thanks again. Genuinely pleased one person on the internet has been diverted by this...this stuff. I wrote these things a year ago but could find no use for them, clearly. There's one more to come. I'll post it soon, then that'll be that.</p> <p>BTW, you're a sock puppet apparently. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56052#post-161915 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 00:13:22 +0000 theonewithnothingtooffer 161915@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You did it again.......so funny.....many thanks!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56052#post-161884 Sat, 09 Feb 2013 20:10:32 +0000 Dick Everyman 161884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The sock puppet strikes again!!!!</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55954" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55954</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56052#post-161877 Sat, 09 Feb 2013 17:51:51 +0000 Tripod 161877@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There must be a website somewhere in cyderspace crying out for this kind of material... but it sure ain't here... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56052#post-161875 Sat, 09 Feb 2013 17:37:40 +0000 Mik Bulk 161875@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Whatever happened to the TV host Matthew Kelly?</strong></p> <p>Sir,<br /> Matthew Erasmus Kelly began his glittering career with West Combine Television in 1976. He was the popular face of such shows as <em>The Duck Must Go</em> and <em>Show Mum Your Pants.</em> However, his career took a tumble in the late 90s when he was accused of fingering kids. He was later cleared, but mud sticks and he currently lives in Vietnam and works as paediatricianophile.</p> <p>Emily Droole, Orbalz</p> <p>Sir,<br /> Emily Droole is like a sewage overflow pipe – she spouts shit. Matthew Kelly is dead! I know so because I was the first to discover his body. After his fall from grace for bumming youngsters, Kelly spent a few years working in a petrol station. He never fully recovered, however, and finally took his own life in a woods near his home. Bizarrely, he killed himself by cutting one wrist and taking several co-proximal tablets. Intriguingly, Kelly was allergic to knives. Many of us Kelly fans fear a conspiracy afoot, the details of which are outlined in my recent book The Highly Suspicious Death Of Matthew Kelly, now available on Amazon.</p> <p>Clint Gorge, Quocktonborough</p> <p>Sir,<br /> If Clint Gorge is so sure that Matthew Kelly is dead, then how come the cunt’s mowing my lawn as I write this missive? After his spell of bother with the authorities over the incident that saw him raping various juveniles, Kelly drifted away from television and became a handyman. He’s a popular figure in our village and a decent man, despite what he might have done to those poor little mites. Clearly Gorge is a desperate simpleton who is attempting to dupe the public into buying his crass tome of lies and hackery. As for Emily Droole, what a total helmet. Kelly didn’t host <em>Show Mum Your Pants.</em> That was Jonathan King. What the silly bitch is probably thinking of is the show <em>Whose Finger Was That?</em>, a rival show that aired at the same time and that was indeed presented by Kelly.</p> <p>Yousoff Smust, Pannlydale </p>