http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55857 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 18:56:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55857#post-161298 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 19:45:02 +0000 BAJDixon 161298@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Early human Steve has spoken of his anger at what he sees as the whitewashing of his exploits from the bible story.</p> <p>Steve is understood to have been created by God from some nearby twigs on the sixth day and has indicated that he considers his omission from the book of Genesis to have cost him millions in syndication and image rights. He has spoken out after assertions of his non-existence began to affect his personal life.</p> <p>Steve said "God created me right from the start and I there for all the main bits, having a right laugh messing about with all the new animals and that." </p> <p>"I was even the one who was saying don't trust that talking snake after it had bit me on the face for no reason the week before. I said they were stupid to eat that apple then and I stand by it."</p> <p>"I was one of the main characters - much funnier than Adam. Then when I get hold of the first proofs of the bible I'm nowhere to be seen. I was absolutely livid."</p> <p>"All they were interested in was selling the love story. With Adam and Eve you've got a compelling romance; they've got a story arc. No mention of the effeminate bloke who's been providing all the moments of light relief throughout the whole story."</p> <p>A spokesperson for God said "he's not around at the moment so won't be able to comment." </p>