http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 16:33:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161492 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:13:07 +0000 Dick Everyman 161492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Slick piece of work Wayland ;0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161475 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 09:52:55 +0000 Perks 161475@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice FP, and 2 pictures as well. That's February's budget down the drain </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161307 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 20:56:37 +0000 dvo4fun 161307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>lovely - para 3 especially </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161300 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 20:11:30 +0000 nickb 161300@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I once used some fake tan on holiday. I thought it was going to be hot, but I couldn't be sure. So my shopping list read "Take fan, fake tan." Like the time I made a turf accountant out of privet. I was hedging my bets. Here all week, etc. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161295 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 18:21:15 +0000 wallster 161295@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Did she use the spoon? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161294 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 18:00:25 +0000 Oxbridge 161294@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Having barely survived a night with Rebecca last week, I have to take issue with you on that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161291 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 16:47:11 +0000 AReader 161291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's nothing worse than Irn Bru. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161290 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 16:46:46 +0000 Perks 161290@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>According to the bottle its actually 'tarty tangerine' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161286 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 16:39:46 +0000 charlies_hat 161286@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't be such a brown nose Perks - or is that natural tan ?</p> <p>Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161281 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 15:50:12 +0000 Perks 161281@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Digs at the French, the Beckhams, and Liverpool gets stars from me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55852#post-161279 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 15:44:41 +0000 waylandsmithy 161279@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The overwhelming presence of fake tan in Britain’s water supply has left treatment plants struggling to cope, according to a report by the utilities companies. Some parts of Liverpool now appear to have Tango on tap, but consumers have complained that it ‘tastes worse than Irn Bru’. </p> <p>The problem first came to light during the first series of 'Splash!', when Tom Daley tainted a 40,000 gallons of water on his first dive. Since then, thousands of people have reported 'looking a bit under the weather', the weather in question being a heatwave in Lanzarote.</p> <p>Campaigners are demanding that celebrities shower less often, or at least sand the brightest patches into a bin first. “Environmentally speaking, the Beckhams are a disaster”, complained Justin Hodge of pressure group ‘Squash It’. “The sewers under their house must look like Heinz ‘Dirty Protest’ shaped spaghetti. When that lot reaches the filter beds the staff have to splash about scooping the most fluorescent bits out with nets. From a distance, they look like sick oompa loompas.”</p> <p>Protests by the group are already improving the quality of our water, and the Beckhams recently took steps to lessen their own orange footprints. “By moving to France, the pair have offset their pollutants”, explained Hodge. “For some reason, Paris never struggles to deal with dirty 'l'eau du bain', but the man did have to look the phrase up in a book.”</p> <p>Meanwhile in Britain desperate measures are being trialled to try and turn the tide of tap-water tangerinisation. With young girls from Newcastle to Knightsbridge particularly at risk, the official advice is to only drink something from the other end of the spectrum, such as Blue WKD, green tea or screen-wash.</p> <p>Environment Secretary Owen Paterson has promised to deal with the ‘problem at sauce’, sending armed troops to guard Clinique laboratories and warehouses. “For now, we’ve stemmed the cause of pollution, but we need to mount a mopping up operation”, said Paterson. The minister is optimistic, and revealed a ‘secret weapon’ in the battle, which can absorb gallons of fake tan through its unusually thick skin. As he explained, “we’re just going to get Simon Cowell to roll around in it for a bit.” </p>