http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55698 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 15:41:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55698#post-160944 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 10:22:10 +0000 Titus 160944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like the idea, but the headline is better than the detailed story. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55698#post-160939 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 09:36:39 +0000 jenlon 160939@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The International Monetary Fund have announced that a new weekly lottery is to be created but only Countries can play. It is expected that the tickets will cost $175m dollars per week (Euro 128m) and the potential Jackpot could be as much as $15bn per week not including rollovers. The first draw is expected to be the first week in April.</p> <p>At present it is intended that only Ministers for Finances, Chancellors of the Exchequers and their equivalent may play on behalf of their country but already The IMF are being besieged by former despots, desperate billionaires, HSBC, the Russian Mafia and even Bernhard Madhoff into allowing them to partake.</p> <p>With such a small number of purchasers (there are only 197 countries in the world) the IMF have chosen a unique style of choosing the winner. Following the success of Fred the Octopus at the last Soccer World Cup the IMF have turned to his distant cousin the Veined Octopus (Amphioctopus marginatus) who will be choosing balls from a basket whilst blindfolded and underwater. His real identity is a closely guarded secret.</p> <p>The IMF have said they will only accept cash, gold or silver and tickets have to be purchased by the responsible Ministers for Finance in person. Some people have said that this last stipulation is to pave the way for future spin-offs such as a Wacky Races style competition based on following these Ministers whilst they purchase tickets. Sources say that fridays will be quite busy at their Pennsylvania Ave Headquarters in Washington DC, with all the foreign Dignitaries scrabbling to get a ticket in time.</p> <p>Gold is currently approx $61m per ton and so about 3 normal suitcases would be needed per ticket. George Osborne have been given manual handling advice by the Health and Safety executive who have advised him that that gold is about 20 times heavier than it looks. Mr Osborne stated that he would be announcing his New Fiscal Strategy For Full Economic Recovery at next weeks budget and a key part of ratifying the budget will be determining how many tickets to purchase each week. </p>