http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 12:35:00 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159780 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:58:42 +0000 Dick Everyman 159780@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Titus <strong>And what's wrong with a woman wearing sandals, DE?</strong></p> <p>...it's the painted toe nails. You never saw Jesus, Charles Manson or my hero Ghandi with painted toe nails... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159776 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:11:43 +0000 beau-jolly 159776@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sadly not. It was a quite a while later that I realised she was coming on to me! Duh! Fit as a butcher's dog but head well up arse. I would probably have had to endure home knitted yoghurt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159768 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:56:28 +0000 Titus 159768@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And what's wrong with a woman wearing sandals, DE? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159759 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:26:12 +0000 Dick Everyman 159759@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you grow a beard and wear sandals I find that people take you more seriously so that might help a life coach in his or her career, well maybe not hers... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159758 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 13:42:21 +0000 Titus 159758@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeah, BJ, we all want to know!</p> <p>Meanwhile: if your strory is true, it proves yet again how hard it is to write satire - it's impossible to invent anything half as lunatic as real life. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159751 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:51:33 +0000 medici2471 159751@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes very interesting BJ, but did you get a fuck... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159750 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:48:28 +0000 beau-jolly 159750@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Got to share this: A good while ago a girl I knew professionally set up as a life coach. She asked me to be a guineapig. After a longish session in a smart bar she pronounced that my circle was incomplete in the areas of work and love. No shit Sherlock. My wife had just run off with her boss and my employer had just gone bust. Both things she was aware of.<br /> After another drink she explained that I needed a close spiritual relationship. I explained that after 20 years of marriage what I needed at that moment was a no-strings fuck-buddy.<br /> Didn't hear from her again for a few years. Then out of the blue she rang me at my business consultancy asking if I had any advice for her as she was on her way to the bankrupsy court.</p> <p>Custard. Nice piece. Thanks for sharing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159748 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:10:39 +0000 Midfield Diamond 159748@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some good stuff in here I thought. Can be cut down quite a bit but you also need stuff about setting personal goals. </p> <p>They've given up on that kind of training with us at our place - too many wrote objectives like:<br /> 1. Turn up for work<br /> 2. Stay eight hours<br /> 3. Suppress the urge to kill someone during objective 2 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159743 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:41:34 +0000 medici2471 159743@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks custard, now I'm getting Coaching Academy ads instead of Rebecca... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159732 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:40:36 +0000 button 159732@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It is a bit long </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159729 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:34:35 +0000 Titus 159729@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>To quote a current Radio Four phrase: "Just be yourself. (This is a recorded announcement.)" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159722 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 09:42:12 +0000 dvo4fun 159722@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I love it - think it makes a great Left Alert. I worked in the public sector many years before stumbling innocently into a feely-touchy training course; I couldn't believe that I was sitting on a bean bag playing games and getting paid for it, whilst someone else did my work back at the ranch. Signed up for quite a few after that - like getting Spa treatment on the firm when feeling a bit jaded. Appreciate what others say about length but wonder if you might squeeze in a reference to 'energy' 'what goes around comes around' or 'Karma'. Most attendees nod sagely at that point or in my case stare at the axminster trying to stifle a giggle.</p> <p>Typos?</p> <p>"Don't be afraid .. to offer [offer] simple solutions"</p> <p>"by assailing other[s] with" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159719 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 08:34:21 +0000 DustyBinLaden 159719@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good, but too long, and I'd lay off the teachers in the 2nd para. Think of yourself as 'on a journey' when it comes to getting this into shape, Custard. How do you feel when I say that? Bear in mind there is no right or wrong answer to this question.</p> <p>Invoice is in the post. Try including silver in your diet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159686 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 00:29:46 +0000 Dumbnews 159686@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like it, just needs shortening.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159668 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 21:54:34 +0000 J Vine 159668@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We're you drunk when you wrote this? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55258#post-159659 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 19:34:18 +0000 custard cream 159659@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So you want to be a life coach? Putting aside the motivation for this dubious aspiration, here are a few tips to help you succeed in Britain's top growth industry:</p> <p>The most important qualification to being a life coach is to be a failure in just about everything. That is why teachers make such good life coaches and failed teachers become life coach gurus.</p> <p>It is also vital to have an exaggerated sense of self importance to the extent that you constantly feel you have something unique to contribute. This level of self delusion needs to be bolstered by an over weening certainty that you can never be wrong.</p> <p>There is value in attending lots of useless courses trying to satisfy that nagging sense that you have wasted your life. If you feel this, fear not, because now you can be reinvigorated by assailing other with pointless platitudes.</p> <p>Do not be afraid to develop your own style and cultivate your niche. If your approach catches on, you could become a leading speaker at life coach conferences full of people seeking answers to intractable questions.</p> <p>Don't be afraid to express your opinion, which after all is so much more valuable than others, but be careful not to offer offer simple solutions. Your students won't thank you if you provide something simple, practical and achievable. Instead, aim for a vague set of assertions that you can build around. It helps to have a 'story concept' such as the notion of 'We're all on a journey'. There are endless combinations to this concept as most people identify with being on a journey.</p> <p>Make sure you DO NOT UNDERCHARGE or your students will feel cheated. Think of a reasonable daily rate and then add a zero to it so your fees are reassuringly expensive.</p> <p>Make free with dubious knowledge from all over the world and mangle different philosophies and thought systems to ideally produce your own brand new insight which you can charge exorbitant rates for. Do use jargon and invent acronyms freely to further 'aid' your students.</p> <p>Add spurious letters or phrases before or after your name to give you added credence. How much better if you are known as a 'Master Practitioner' rather than plain old Alan or Ann.</p> <p>Spend lots of time talking about making connections. Student will love this and it is so easy to illustrate. For example, do make a point of pointing out obvious things such as the fact that we are body, spirit, emotions and therefore we need to open up the connections between each part of us to make us even more fulfilled.</p> <p>Reference movies, celebrities and TV shows to emphasise your points. Most movies have life affirming messages that you can easily incorporate into your practice. For example you could include quotes such as 'What we do in life echoes in eternity' (Gladiator), 'With great power, comes great responsibility' (Spiderman), 'This is Sparta!' (300), 'I am Javert, do not forget me' (Les Miserables) or '“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure...' (The Hobbit). Movies, books and TV shows should provide you with at least 90% of your course content. Your students will leave your course feeling enlightened but ultimately unfulfilled so that they want to return for more of your compelling insights. And you won't have to do any original research.</p> <p>Make a point of showing how successful you are as a Life Coach by buying expensive clothing, cars, houses and other paraphernalia. Otherwise your students will take more convincing about your golden nuggets.</p> <p>Try to get established on the international circuit. At first this will meaning attending events in far off places like Ukraine and Turkenistan. But, in time you can look forward to being a keynote speaker in places like Las Vegas and Hawaii.</p> <p>Once you have made progress as a Life Coach, you will never look back, your life will be full of useless gadgets and you will feel momentarily fulfilled. As you progress, you can seek out new pastures and specialise in areas such as business coaching, personal coaching, sports psychology coaching and retail coaching. Eventually, you could even start your own quasi religious foundation to ensure your teachings continue to bless future generations. </p>