http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 06:12:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159279 Tue, 22 Jan 2013 15:40:14 +0000 nickb 159279@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>hooray! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159185 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:08:19 +0000 Helidon 159185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>wazlandsmith! I like the definition, brutal satire. That s the waz I like to be defined. The sword has to go deeper in writing this sort of humour </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159139 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:49:30 +0000 waylandsmithy 159139@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In his heyday, he would bite the face off a live Nazi as a finale to his stage show. Brutal satire. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159136 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:35:31 +0000 Idiot 159136@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can't say I've seen much of Norman Wisdom's satirical work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159129 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:11:57 +0000 Helidon 159129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The satirical half </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159128 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:09:05 +0000 Lens Cap 159128@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Which half? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159126 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:04:06 +0000 Helidon 159126@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wsh I was half Norman Wisdom, sir Bonjonelson. He is an idol in Albania </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159123 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:00:15 +0000 bonjonelson 159123@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sir, I admire your wordage, but you're no Norman Wisdom. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159122 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:57:56 +0000 Idiot 159122@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I must confess to liking the lines</p> <p>'Hey, bloody stepmum!'</p> <p>and</p> <p>'Stop tiring me out with all these pigeons!' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159121 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:54:37 +0000 Helidon 159121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Smart point Lens Cap.<br /> Thx a lot, beauty Jenny! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159119 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:52:39 +0000 Golgo14 159119@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>This story really made my day!<br /> Thanks Helidon!</em> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159118 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:49:55 +0000 Lens Cap 159118@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Since when have Neanderthals been famous for their hip-hopping! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159117 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:48:31 +0000 Helidon 159117@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>waylandsmithy! The planes are not concern in Albania, any more. Have been some years ago. Don' t read only the Sun, where the most usefull 'information; is the colour of Beckham pants ;) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159116 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:47:57 +0000 dvo4fun 159116@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Free pint to anyone who read it all (Helidon excepted) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159115 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:43:27 +0000 Idiot 159115@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hang on a minute, how can a foot fit a shoe like a glove? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159114 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:43:04 +0000 waylandsmithy 159114@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would make a good ticker.</p> <p>What constitutes a 'good one' as far as planes are concerned in Albania? Fewer than 9 bullet holes? Both wings of distinguished character? Not on fire? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159112 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:34:18 +0000 Helidon 159112@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>3 hours by airplane. If it is a good one and the weather is not cloudy as in Britain. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159111 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:27:48 +0000 Lens Cap 159111@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Usually one at a time and sequentially starting from 1. Could you make your reply nothing to do with miles.</p> <p> Something like "3 hours by airplane. If it is a good one and the weather is not cloudy as in Britain." Yep. That would work </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159110 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:25:30 +0000 Helidon 159110@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Depends how you count the mile ;) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159107 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:22:22 +0000 Lens Cap 159107@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think it's a perfect bedtime story.</p> <p> I was asleep after the 8th comma. </p> <p>Thanks for leaving your email. Out of interest, is Albania within 3 miles? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159106 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:21:11 +0000 medici2471 159106@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Grimm... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55044#post-159105 Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:14:02 +0000 Helidon 159105@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Once upon a time, was a little girl, a very little girl, named Cinderella.<br /> She was also a very beautiful girl and everyone who saw her, was amazed by her beauty.<br /> Cinderella’s father was clerk of the lower state. With the sweat of his brow, he got his ‘bread and butter’ by taking the bread out of the mouths of those who refused to pay their taxes. The father worshipped Cinderella and took her to the best hip-hop shows in town.<br /> Cinderella turned out to be a starlet. She went on stage wearing short skirts and with her head held high. She lived her childhood like an adult. Cinderella’s life was one glittering, bright and colourful show.<br /> Until, that day when one of the men who refused to pay taxes shot Cinderella’s father. He called his wife to his death bed. She was his second wife. In numbers that is. He asked her to look after Cinderella and raise her as her own daughter. Shortly after, he died.<br /> The stepmother, as stepmothers often do, forced Cinderella to do all the housework. To top it all up, the stepmother kept pigeons that she used to send messages to her lovers. Cinderella used to argue with her stepmother about the pigeons. She would often say: “Hey, bloody stepmum! I love you, like my own mother! I don’t mind you sitting around all day but, would you listen to me just this once and start sending SMS messages to your lovers. Stop tiring me out with all these pigeons!’<br /> Step-sisters treated Cinderella badly. They too, made her clean their rooms and wash their clothes. They spent their time wandering around town, while Cinderella worked hard. The good news is that Cinderella was very quick, so she would finish all the housework in record time and then spend the rest of the time trying on her step-sister’s dresses, shoes and make-up.<br /> Cinderella rarely ventured out into the streets. And, when she went out, she did not pay any attention to the boys.<br /> And why should she care about them? The local boys were not worth her attention anyway. They did not live in big houses.<br /> One evening a very successful businessman hosted a party for his son. He invited many young girls there, including Cinderella’s wicked step-sisters.<br /> Cinderella too was dying to go to the party. And, who wouldn’t want to! The party host, was one of the richest businessmen in town.<br /> Cinderella went to the party wearing a very fine pair of shoes. To tell you the truth, the shoes were ‘ultra’. How Cinderella got these shoes, is something that needs a bit of thinking. Why should I think about this element. You have to do it by yourselves.<br /> While hip - hopping around the dance floor like Neanderthals, one of Cinderella’s shoes fell off. Cinderella looked frantically for her shoe, but the room was too crowded. She decided to leave the part, because she was ashamed to stand around with just one shoe. Also, she did not want to be seen by her stepmother and step-sisters because she had left home without their permission.<br /> What they don’t know wouldn’t hurt them - thought Cinderella.<br /> Months passed. Ehhhh! Poor Cinderella knows how she spent those months.<br /> The rich businessman’s son, who had fallen in love with the girl who lost her shoe at the party, was going from house to house searching for the girl who dropped off her shoe. He did not have a name or any other details, because Cinderella, who was afraid of saying something foolish, had not opened her mouth at the party. </p> <p>Cinderella had fallen head over heels for the young man. Precisely for the young man’s house.<br /> The young man travelled all over the place, asking every young girl to try on the shoe. Each one of them struggled a lot. Apart from Cinderella whose foot hopefully and joyly for her, fitted the shoe like a glove.<br /> Here ends the Cinderella story. A girl who struggled and suffered a great deal to find a rich guy.<br /> But Cinderella was different from other girls. Of course she was different, otherwise there wouldn’t have been a famous tale about her.<br /> She was an orphan.<br /> Post Scriptum!<br /> In the ancient tale of Cinderella the pumpkin turned into a coach. I prefer not to deal with pumpkins. I did not want to turn the pumpkin into a car, because today’s cars carry ‘the pumpkin’ inside.</p> <p>Helidon Tahiraj </p> <p>Albania </p> <p>E mail; <a href="mailto:helidontahiraj@hotmail.com">helidontahiraj@hotmail.com</a> </p>