http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54979 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 13:49:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54979#post-158874 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 12:19:11 +0000 Lucy4 158874@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Glad you managed to get a horse in there. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54979#post-158871 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:28:20 +0000 Tripod 158871@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Admitting that cycling is irredeemably fucked as a genuine sport, Lance Armstrong has announced that the inaugural Big Stoned Bike Ride will take place in Amsterdam in 2014. “It will be an inclusive, ‘anything goes’, no-holds-barred dope-fest”, insisted the now-discredited ‘winner’ of seven <em>Tours de France</em>, as he took a toke on his bong. </p> <p>“Participants will be drug-tested before their events and, if no drugs are found in their system, will be given 15 minutes to put things right. A mobile pharmacy will cater to their every need, whether that’s a couple of asprin or a heroic dose of horse tranquilisers. Recreational drugs, performance enhancing drugs: you name it, we’ll have it! Our only stipulation is that winners must be alive - and preferably conscious - when they're awarded their prizes. Dead pedallers will be disqualified. Party on, dudes!”... </p>