http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54974 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 08:03:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54974#post-158888 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 13:47:50 +0000 Dick Everyman 158888@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gerontius my, sorry, Steve's friends range from hair dressers to theatre set designers and the odd labourer who all enjoy a good kick about.</p> <p>Pinxit the BSC option sounds like your best option, trouble is you'll have to go on all fours like a something waiting to be stuffed by Damien Hurst.</p> <p>Squudge - Pezazzille eh? Sounds like you have hit on something very marketable there. Have you got any pictures you'd like to share with the team? Just changed the last bit..... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54974#post-158861 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 10:40:36 +0000 Gerontius 158861@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Who exactly are <strike>your</strike> Steve's 'friends' in the 5 a-side team Dick?<br /> They sound very liberated.<br /> I think we should know.<br /> BTW...it's not the pubic hair they're laughing at </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54974#post-158859 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 09:58:02 +0000 pinxit 158859@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I keep nicking myself with the razor and end up applying bits of fag paper to staunch the bleeding.</p> <p>The tackle ends up like a Henry Moore-styled pin-board with a mass of mini post-it notes stuck on.</p> <p>Think I'll opt for a back, sack and crack in future... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54974#post-158852 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 09:28:21 +0000 Squudge 158852@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>not sure about the last bit, but I did enjoy 'releasing the eagle from it's nest'</p> <p>as for the changing room - there must be room in the market here for conditioner and 'just for men' application to the topiary. Or plait it and festoon it with trinkets - start a new fashion. Male Vajazzle - Pezazzille!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54974#post-158847 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 08:21:40 +0000 Dick Everyman 158847@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After 8 years of marriage Steve Leverson faces one of the biggest dilemmas in his relationship over the future of his pubic hair.</p> <p>Since joining his mates in the local five-a-side team he has come under fire from them about the state of his downstairs area. “It’s been a long time since I took a communal shower and I couldn’t help noticing that all of the younger guys had very tidy pubic areas. The problem is they’ve also noticed that my pubes are quite long and untidy with the odd grey hair and the jokes fly thick and fast.”</p> <p>However, at home it is a different story.</p> <p>“Me and the wife both shaved them once before we were married and she came out in hives, she was dancing around for weeks, since then she’s been totally opposed to any form of trimming. In fact I overheard her talking to her sister on the phone the other day saying she likes me the way I am and that only 'gay men' or ‘men in a mid-life crisis’ or ‘someone who was considering being unfaithful’ would contemplate getting the scissors out.”</p> <p>But, back in the changing rooms the 34 year old faces comments such as ‘I’ve got some ribbon at home if you want to plait them’ and ‘anyone got a lawn mower?’</p> <p>“The thing is I’d really like to get the shaving foam out and release the eagle from its nest. The guys who shave do look a lot bigger, not that I’ve looked, and let’s face it none of the stars in my secret porn stash have a single pube between them.”</p> <p>Such is his dilemma that Steve has even considered giving up five-a-side and taking up bowls. “At least you can bend down and show a hairy arse crack without fear of any comment.”</p> <p>Now, as a compromise and to avoid further suspicion from his wife, Steve has purchased a fool-proof short and curly pubic wig from an online supplier in the Far East and is enjoying his new found liberation. </p> <p>"I've found a supplier in Taiwan who guarantees it'll stay on when I need it too in front of the missus and slip off in a jiffy at other times. The best thing is it even sheds stray pubes onto the toilet rim for extra realism. So everybody's happy!" </p>