http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 09:09:24 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158839 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 06:05:23 +0000 Golgo13 158839@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> <p>Laughs with lard. Le-aare-duh. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158821 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 21:57:17 +0000 Iscariot 158821@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one. How about "25 million chips or 37 Mars Bars". Oh and Minke, not Minky. Oleaginous stars awarded. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158814 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 21:16:57 +0000 Sir Lupus 158814@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>shouldn't that be manky whales?</p> <p>the quote from the SNH officer was indeed "smells good enough to fry up with" I believe </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158808 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 19:20:24 +0000 Dick Everyman 158808@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Probably not the first time someone's paid a lot of money to secure a 'porcine wad...'</p> <p>Sheer poetry Gerontius, now I can't get the image out of my head </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158807 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 19:04:47 +0000 Idiot 158807@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good &amp; worthy of lardation, though 2-3 weeks seems a bit far-fetched. Are you sure you didn't mean days? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158805 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 18:29:32 +0000 Magpie 158805@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Local SNP MSP Jonty McSporran claims that Scotland, with its abundant natural and indigenous resources, will be self sufficient in lard come independence , thereby rendering its ties and dependence upon the UK irrelevant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54948#post-158773 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 16:55:42 +0000 Gerontius 158773@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A prospector from Montrose who found a 25lb nugget of lard washed up on the beach at St.Cyrus says he has sold the delicacy to a local chip restaurant.<br /> Culinary experts say the lard, believed to have come from the wreck of a WWII battle ship, should last the restaurant from anything between 2-3 weeks and if used sparingly could eventually deep-fry over 25million chips.<br /> The lard is estimated to be worth around £4.75....a record for any Scottish culinary foodstuff and is said to be rich in vitamin D and fatty tissue.<br /> The prospector who had originally been combing the beach for gold said he couldn’t believe his luck when he stumbled across the 25lb block of rendered pig-stomach.<br /> ‘I saw the seagulls throwing up in the distance and wondered what the hell it could have been. We sometimes get minky whales washed up on the beach and I thought maybe it was one of them gone off. Imagine my delight when I discovered it was lard’.<br /> Local fisherman Angus McAngus said lard finds as big as this were a rarity nowadays and he was not at all surprised the restaurant had paid a record fee to secure the porcine wad.<br /> But staff at the nature reserve say they are furious with the prospector after being fobbed off with the contents of a 9th century Viking treasure chest the man had discovered just moments before coming across the lard.<br /> ‘A Viking helmet made out of solid gold. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that' fumed warden Alistair McAlistair<br /> You cannae even eat chips out of it’. </p>