http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5493 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:33:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5493#post-15010 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:48:04 +0000 Stan Laurel 15010@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Another stonker! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5493#post-14990 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 10:16:20 +0000 QorbeQ 14990@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cracking! 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5493#post-14982 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 09:48:43 +0000 Darkbill 2.0 14982@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>United Nations inspectors visiting this year’s Reading Festival have discovered material in a festival portaloo that they have classified as ‘weapon’s grade’.</p> <p>Scientists say it is too early to say exactly what they are dealing with, although the material is definitely man-made. While not thought to be radioactive, the toilet was said to be emitting an eerie green glow.</p> <p>Jon Swartez, the scientist leading the team of inspectors, says, “If this stuff fell into the wrong hands we could be looking at a real mess.”</p> <p>Festival organisers initially raised the alarm when an ‘ungodly smell’ began to drift across the festival site. Toilet attendants claimed they were ill-equipped to deal with the substance, after the head of one of their wire brushes completely dissolved.</p> <p>“Instead of neutralising what went into the toilet, it appears the toilet chemicals reacted to form a low level form of toxic gas,” explains festival co-ordinator Emily Wattis. “It was only when the UN team arrived with bio-hazard suits that they were able to get in there and tackle it.”</p> <p>Attention is now shifting to the person responsible for producing the material, amid concerns for their own personal safety and the safety of others</p> <p>“What we need to know is if this was produced intentionally or is an unexpected by-product,” says Swartez. “The person we are looking for is probably in a bad way. At the very least we can expect them to be suffering from severe muscle fatigue and possibly third-degree burns.”</p> <p>The public have been warned not to approach the individual involved and to be wary of anyone crying or moaning in toilet cubicles.</p> <p>“We aren’t talking about someone sitting on a few grams of fissionable material,“ says Swartez, “there could be literally tonnes of this stuff ready to be funnelled out to smugglers.”</p> <p>It is now a waiting game; with the UN team on standby, ready to deliver emergency roughage to the person responsible. </p>