http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 04:56:55 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158884 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 12:38:40 +0000 Perks 158884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great FP Dusty. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158844 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 08:19:44 +0000 DustyBinLaden 158844@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Sinnick. Yes, silly indeed. Might not have cut it on a heavy news day, admittedly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158841 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 07:18:54 +0000 Sinnick 158841@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Congrats on an excellent &amp; rather silly FP </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158840 Sat, 19 Jan 2013 06:44:52 +0000 DustyBinLaden 158840@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely job Pinxit. Thanks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158804 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 18:23:52 +0000 pinxit 158804@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It would be a bloody emperor... couldn't quite get his arm right - looked too strong.</p> <p>A Lib Attack Banana you say? No geek comments please...</p> <p><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/penguin_zpsa16c007b.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158765 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 16:03:46 +0000 waylandsmithy 158765@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quality. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158763 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:47:14 +0000 button 158763@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158747 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 14:04:36 +0000 writinginbsl 158747@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158741 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 13:36:07 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 158741@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Top notch Dusty, stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158738 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 13:14:02 +0000 DustyBinLaden 158738@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers 'Arry </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158736 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 13:07:32 +0000 FlashArry 158736@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent post, Dusty ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158678 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:30:20 +0000 writinginbsl 158678@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>very nice and silly </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54923#post-158675 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:26:59 +0000 DustyBinLaden 158675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A penguin who holds the record for being the fastest flightless bird to complete his arduous winter march between the ocean and ancestral breeding grounds has admitted to using a performance-enhancing bicycle to beat other penguins to the finish line.</p> <p>Gavin Turner, an adolescent emperor penguin from Antarctica, has confessed to using a catalogue of banned mechanical assistance to be “first to the fish”. </p> <p>His preferred mode of transport was a yellow Raleigh Chipper but Turner also admitted to using pretty much anything that would avoid him having to walk, including a catapult and a microlite aircraft.</p> <p>‘I’ve got really short legs, even for a penguin, and it’s a really long way’ said Turner. ‘In the early days I’d get there, cold and knackered, and usually last. All the fish would be gone and the other penguins would just be standing around, smoking and drinking and taking the piss. That’s when I thought “I’m going to have you, you fucking fuckers”.’ </p> <p>Turner’s sponsor, Successories, who publish uplifting stationery inspired by the animal kingdom and used by unimaginative middle managers to motivate their staff, has sacked the “disgraced fish-eating cheat” on hearing the news.</p> <p>A statement from Successories read, ‘Mr Turner no longer reflects our culture of there being no I in team. However, we wish him all the best. After all, the greatest achievement is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall. We’re now in talks with a beaver about perseverance.’ </p> <p>Turner featured prominently on a Successories poster carrying the inspirational mantra ‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.’</p> <p>‘Actually, my last one began with a Lib Tech Attack Banana snowboard,’ said Turner. </p>