http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 23:23:52 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158567 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 21:39:59 +0000 No No Feckin No 158567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Probably being a bit of a tosser, to be fair.'</p> <p>No,wayland.No. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158566 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 21:23:28 +0000 waylandsmithy 158566@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No idea if this will get used, but this sentence doesn't quite work like I'd hoped:</p> <p>"We've pledged to buy the face-value villain they hand over to us, and sell it on to the public without asking any difficult questions"</p> <p>This would be better:</p> <p> "They've agreed to supply us with a face-value villain, which we can sell to the public without any difficult questions"</p> <p>Probably being a bit of a tosser, to be fair. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158562 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:37:53 +0000 Titus 158562@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"...it shows a horse with a red cross through it" </p> <p>Please, please, someone, produce a photoshop of such a sticker. It would make a brilliant illustration for the main NB page. As they say, one good pic is funnier than a thousand puns - good though all of those are.</p> <p>Stars herewith. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158559 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:22:42 +0000 Al OPecia 158559@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent, 5. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158546 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 18:26:54 +0000 Tripod 158546@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>It's a horse shit race!</blockquote></p> <p>And it's neck and neck down the final straight... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158543 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 18:14:43 +0000 waylandsmithy 158543@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry if I nicked the headline, I didn't read all the horsey subs yesterday, they made me feel tired. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158537 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 17:39:54 +0000 nickb 158537@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's a horse shit race! I do however think a whole day's Newsbiscuit should be given over to horses and their shit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158517 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 16:12:30 +0000 Gerontius 158517@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Home on the free-range </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158491 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:52:26 +0000 dvo4fun 158491@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Missed the 'uncowed' </p> <p>Fortunately I'd not taken a mouthful of coffee before reading "...it shows a horse with a red cross through it" </p> <p>Fine work sir </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158488 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:46:47 +0000 Dick Everyman 158488@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Now I'm not a shit stirrer but it's a close race....</p> <p>Both are funny! ;0) stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158484 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:33:24 +0000 nickb 158484@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54798#post-158283 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158482 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:31:30 +0000 nickb 158482@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>uncowed. excellent. Feel free to er cannibalise mine.... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158479 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:23:40 +0000 Rootin Tootin 158479@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Uncowed - yes. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54862#post-158477 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:13:33 +0000 waylandsmithy 158477@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An apology by Tesco for muddling up animals may have contained traces of horseshit, say regulators.</p> <p>Inspectors recently discovered that Tesco had as little idea what was inside the products it passed off as 'food' as its most trusting of customers. Uncowed, the supermarket took immediate action, and ponied up for a lot more advertising. </p> <p>"If we want to continue taking money off the awful people that shop here, we have to nurture the impression we give a toss about them", explained PR Manager Charles Valerie. "But it's a thin line between 'caring' and 'taking responsibility', which is why we've promised to delegate the blame to suppliers." </p> <p>Tesco has commissioned an extensive and far-reaching witch-hunt, to be carried out by some meat-packing company or other in Ireland. "We've pledged to buy the face-value villain they hand over to us, and sell it on to the public without asking any difficult questions", said Valerie. "Time is of the essence if we're to regain the public's trust. The advertising deadline for tomorrow's newspapers is 2.30pm."</p> <p>Valerie has vowed to avoid taking the blame for similar incidents in the future, and has put together a team of photogenic QA managers to show journalists they take quality seriously. "They're working hard on designing a safety sticker for the big mincing machines, it shows a horse with a red cross through it", enthused Valerie.</p> <p>"My team will check that they're used by every one of our suppliers, it's all part of our ongoing commitment to ensure we're not saddled with guilt. I've got the bit between my teeth, I won't be hampered by our suppliers. Assuming someone can find where they are on a map."</p> <p>Hat-tip to NickB for inadvertently nicking the headline </p>