http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 09:45:07 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158200 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:52:00 +0000 Lens Cap 158200@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tripod, as a fellow camara accessory, can I ask why you seem to be the only one who does that quoting thing. Isn't that like having a conversation with someone who repeats what you say before they speak</p> <p> For example;</p> <p>Hi Lens, how are you?</p> <p>How are you? I'm okay thanks and you?</p> <p>I'm okay thanks and you? I'm good too. How are the kids?</p> <p>How are the kids? They're fine thanks</p> <p>And so on </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158196 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:43:46 +0000 Dawsons creek 158196@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You see? That's the way to do it! Something lazy, obvious and not very funny. The perfect tictoc! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158193 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:36:45 +0000 Tripod 158193@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>That's a good one Tripod. You should put it in the Writers' room </blockquote></p> <p>It's there already... and as a ticker... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158191 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:35:19 +0000 Lens Cap 158191@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's a good one Tripod. You should put it in the Writers' room </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158190 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:32:58 +0000 Tripod 158190@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>Tesco “gobsmacked” to find anything as palatable as horse-meat in their burgers...</em></p> <p>That's how you do it. Ker-<em>ching</em>... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158188 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:31:15 +0000 Dawsons creek 158188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes. I guess copying and pasting without attempting to refer to the original source is technically plagiarism. Although if you do get found out, you can always make excuses later. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158186 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:26:15 +0000 Lens Cap 158186@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Research is a good thing. I found this in the guidelines. I think you breach the first sentence.</p> <p>Quote: Obviously we are looking for original material, so please don’t submit stories which have already been published elsewhere. We will also not use stories if they seem to stray too close to ideas already used on other sites, comedy shows or by stand-ups. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158185 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:26:05 +0000 Dawsons creek 158185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Best just copy and paste them from there, Tripod. Although they do then risk being actually funny, which would probably rule them out.</p> <p>Target: knob yoghurt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158183 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:23:59 +0000 Idiot 158183@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Extra marks for old jokes or something you stole from Facebook, especially if you cheerfully admit this, rendering the whole writers' room idea pointless.</blockquote></p> <p>If by that you're referring to my earlier '..and they're off' post, that (quite obviously I would have thought) wasn't intended for use - I was merely sharing a joke I saw elsewhere that made me laugh. I fail to see why that would bother you so much. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158179 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:14:00 +0000 Tripod 158179@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>That would give me about 2years 8months and 27 days worth if I do one a day. </blockquote></p> <p>Plenty of horse-burger gags <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/jan/16/horsemeat-burgers-best-worst-jokes?intcmp=239">here</a>... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158178 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:12:00 +0000 Lens Cap 158178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm confused, you said you have to be funny. </p> <p>Oh I'm such a crazy cheeky chappy </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158175 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:11:00 +0000 Lens Cap 158175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Woah this is great. I have just purchased Tim Vine's joke book which boasts 1000 jokes. That would give me about 2years 8months and 27 days worth if I do one a day. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158173 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:06:25 +0000 Tripod 158173@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>At Tripod: have you had one yet?</blockquote></p> <p>Indeed I have. The money's not great, but it keeps me in beer... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158171 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:05:05 +0000 Mr Target 158171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You still here, Creek?</p> <p>Wanker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158168 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:00:00 +0000 Dawsons creek 158168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes Lens, it does. That's the joy of it. Don't be afraid to just rehash someone else's idea with additional punctuation, either. </p> <p>Above all, remember not to read it for sense before hitting 'submit', and if you're not sure if it's funny or not just chuck it up there anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158167 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:59:32 +0000 Dick Everyman 158167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Avoid profanities such as 'disillusioned writer fucks dead horse' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158165 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:56:44 +0000 Midnight Dreary 158165@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Extra marks for old jokes or something you stole from Facebook, especially if you cheerfully admit this, rendering the whole writers' room idea pointless. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158163 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:55:14 +0000 Lens Cap 158163@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At Tripod: have you had one yet?</p> <p>At Dawsons Creek: does the board not get full of 'stuff' if you just write the first think you think of.</p> <p>Oh, how about 'Jimmy Savile liked a Daily Male' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158161 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:49:05 +0000 Dawsons creek 158161@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's best to go for a weak pun and avoid being topical. Something really straightforward, like a word sounding a bit like another word, or anything with 'Daily Mail' in it.</p> <p>Have you thought of just posting the first thing that pops into your anus? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158159 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:47:39 +0000 Tripod 158159@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I would like a tictoc</blockquote></p> <p>Writing something funny gives you a good chance of a ticker... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54773#post-158157 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:41:24 +0000 Lens Cap 158157@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I notice that some of the the tictoc headlines in the writers' room get used in the tictoc bar on the top right of the front page.</p> <p> What makes a good tictoc headline. I ask because there are a lot of them and I wasn't sure if we should spend time thinking about them or just put up the first Tesco horse joke we think of, even if its been done using slightly different words.</p> <p> I would like a tictoc so if the Editor would like to use mine, I hand over full rights. Can't wait to see them! </p>