http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 07:29:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157935 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 17:11:44 +0000 Squudge 157935@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I quite like your new twist at the end </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157896 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 13:24:31 +0000 stalinetta 157896@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ all thanks!</p> <p>new version with different headline</p> <p><strong>'Brain disorder prevents politicians from saying what they really mean'</strong></p> <p>Researchers at the Westminster Institute of Psychology have published the results of a study into the causes of politicians' inability to process language in the same way as normal people. </p> <p>The study involving participants from all parties has confirmed that politicians are suffering from a condition called 'semantic block' and are engaging in an interesting mental phenomenon called 'double-speak. </p> <p>The lead scientist on the study, professor of psychology Bob Barter explains further:<br /> We have devised a highly complex translation algorithm, which compares politicians' statements to their actions. Our algorithm has revealed politicians' utterances as either delusional or declarations of loathing of the electorate. </p> <p>Nick Clegg's apology for reneging on his promise not to raise tuition fees is clearly double-speak. In his case, the simple words, 'I am sorry' were deciphered as:<br /> 'Fuck you! My policy statements and election promises were just something I made up to get elected! I hate you all!'</p> <p>Similarly David Cameron's assertions that 'we are all in this together' have been correctly retranslated as:<br /> 'Poor people are scum! Exterminate! Exterminate!</p> <p>Professor Barter added: Politicians are currently turning to media trainers for help, but this is only making matters worse. Like excising a really huge boil with a potato peeler. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157891 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:47:30 +0000 Squudge 157891@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think the headline draws you in well enough, even though it isn't snappy.</p> <p>The rest of it is pretty good except that last sentence, which tails off a bit. I wonder if you just chopped that bit off whether it wouldn't be a nice NiB length.<br /> (News in Brief, if you are still coming to terms with biscuit abbreviations, or 'crumbs')</p> <p>Oh, and I am not sure about calling the Prof 'Freud'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157890 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:44:30 +0000 Dick Everyman 157890@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Premature posting has caused me a lot of embarrassment in the past. I now sit on it for at least ten minutes to take away the urge to release it immediately. I also can't submit with someone standing next to me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157889 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:27:02 +0000 Tripod 157889@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Sitting on it for 5 minutes might not have been long enough.</blockquote></p> <p>It's generally long enough for me... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157886 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:23:55 +0000 stalinetta 157886@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@VCG thanks. Sitting on it for 5 minutes might not have been long enough. But then us Stalins have never been known for their patience. Apart when dithering whether to take on a fellow dictator like Adolf. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157885 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:20:32 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 157885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you feel it needs a re-write without anybody having commented then that would suggest it might have been posted too soon.</p> <p>Try writing something then sitting on it for a bit (you’ll have to print it out to sit on it). Leave it for a while and then read it back through once it’s nice and warm, make any tweaks that you decide need making having read it back, then post it.</p> <p>If you’ve posted something and had feedback from other people with suggestions for additions or alterations, but missed the edit window, I’d say re-write and re-post (like you did with the hell austerity one). If you’ve made changes within the edit window then bump it with a comment saying that you’ve changed it.</p> <p>EDIT: I should probably clarify the bit about bumping it with a comment saying that you’ve changed it. That only applies to pretty substantial re-writes. If you decide to re-structure a sentence, don’t bump it to say you’ve done so. If you decide a comma should actually have been a semi-colon, don’t bump it to say you’ve done so. If it didn’t contain any misused apostrophe’s and you wanted to add one in, don’t bump it to say you’ve done so.</p> <p>That would get quite annoying. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157867 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 10:57:15 +0000 stalinetta 157867@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think it needs a different headline. Suggestions very welcome!</p> <p>How about </p> <p>Algorithm translates political 'double-speak'</p> <p>What politicians really mean when they say 'sorry' or 'we are all in this together'</p> <p>'Brain disorder prevents politicians from saying what they really mean'</p> <p>Also, what's the best way to advertise a rewrite - in particular if the heading is changed - is it best to repost?</p> <p>Thanks all! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54651#post-157784 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 00:51:56 +0000 stalinetta 157784@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Researchers at the Westminster Institute of Psychology have published the results of a study into the causes of politicians' inability to process language in the same way as normal people. </p> <p>The study involving participants from all parties, genders and ages has confirmed that politicians are suffering from a condition called 'semantic block' and are engaging in an interesting mental phenomenon called 'double-speak. </p> <p>The lead scientist on the study, professor of psychology Bob Freud explains further:</p> <p>'We have devised a highly complex translation algorithm, which compares politicians' statements with their actions. Our algorithm has revealed politicians' statements as either delusional or declarations of loathing of the electorate. </p> <p>To give you an example, Nick Clegg's apology for reneging on his promise not to raise tuition fees is clearly disingenuous. In his case, the simple words, 'I am sorry' were deciphered by the algorithm as:</p> <p>'Fuck you! Fuck you up the arse and sideways, and your mum, too. All my previous policy statements and promises were just something I made up to get elected! I hate you all!'</p> <p>Similarly David Cameron's assertions that 'we are all in this together' have been correctly translated as:<br /> 'Poor people are scum! Exterminate! Exterminate!'</p> <p>Professor Freud added: It is not quite clear if the causes of the disorder are congenital or acquired but further research is urgently needed. </p>