http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 02:58:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157776 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 23:21:09 +0000 Sir Lupus 157776@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice angle on the military intervention. how about "leaders from both sides insisted that without hatred they would struggle to have <strike>a career</strike> an identity" though. </p> <p>Do Bisuits know of the (sadly decommissioned) Portadown News? Lots of great stuff esp the <a href="http://www.portadownnews.com/Election01.htm">Election Special</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157695 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 13:50:52 +0000 dvo4fun 157695@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love the new ending - Full House sir </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157677 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:12:49 +0000 stalinetta 157677@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicely tightened up! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157654 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:36:13 +0000 medici2471 157654@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work Mr G... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157653 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:26:52 +0000 Gerontius 157653@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you people.<br /> It did trail off into a bit of a rant - so have fiddled around with the ending a bit.</p> <p>A cargo plane full of Malian rebels is heading for N.Ireland say the Ministry of Defence.<br /> The rebels decided to intervene after it became obvious that despite nearly 500 years of sectarian violence blighting the province, the British government still has no answer to the ongoing problem.<br /> A spokesman for the Ansar Dine said that with the British military yet again meddling in affairs that do not concern them, it was only fair that – in return - foreign nationals from Africa and the Middle East should step in and solve the problems found on British soil.</p> <p>The rebels say that during their stay in N.Ireland they hope to learn how it is possible to keep some vague, half forgotten grievance festering for 100s of years and how best to channel the hatred you have for your neighbours into some sort of cold, irrational festering malevolence.<br /> The Malian peace-keeping force has been welcomed in N.Ireland and there are genuine hopes that being able to determine the enemy from the colour of his skin and not the colour of the flag he is carrying could unite the pale, pock marked Craggy Islanders.<br /> However, leaders from both divides insist that without the hatred they have for one another they would struggle to have an identity and that hatred is the only thing that defines them as a nation.<br /> But with their own hatred for one another barely 5 years old, few Malians believe they will be able to spin it out over the next 500 years.<br /> Some Malians are already admitting they can’t remember what it is they hate each other for although veterans from The Troubles were quick to point out that such inconsequential details have never stopped the people of N.Ireland.<br /> Despite leaving behind a backdrop of genocide, famine, disease, drought and war in their own country, the Malians say they could not just stand back and watch while somebody in Belfast raised the wrong coloured flag.<br /> ‘Yes, we have our own atrocities to sort out in Mali’ said rebel leader Kuono Laferre ‘but we’re talking about a wrong coloured flag here. What must it be like living in a country where on odd occasions you wake up to find someone has hoisted a flag over the town hall?<br /> Some things are simply worth dying for’. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157568 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:31:24 +0000 dvo4fun 157568@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Feedback Gerontius? </p> <p>Lovely idea. </p> <p>Some editing suggestions:</p> <p>Change one of the 'some's in the "...some vague ... into some sort of cold" sentence?</p> <p>Pre-penultimate &amp; penultimate para's: change one of the 'But's</p> <p>Penultimate para add an 'own' to "... with their own hatred for ..."</p> <p>Punchline sounds like you've veered off more into a rant &amp; I wonder if the last para could finish with something along the lines of the Malians are hoping to learn lessons from NI population in that regard. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157566 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:25:23 +0000 rickwestwell 157566@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ouch. Blistering satire sir. Won't get near the front page, of course, but when has that ever stopped you? </p> <p>Excellent work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157565 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:23:28 +0000 Tripod 157565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, it's not like the Irish to hold a grudge... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54590#post-157563 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:15:32 +0000 Gerontius 157563@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A cargo plane full of Malian rebels is heading for N.Ireland say the Ministry of Defence.<br /> The offer of help came from the rebels after it became obvious that despite nearly 500 years of sectarian violence blighting the province, the British government still has no answer to the ongoing problem.<br /> A spokesman for the Ansar Dine said that with the British military yet again meddling in affairs that do not concern them that it was only fair that – in return - foreign nationals from Africa and the Middle East should try and solve the problems found on British soil.</p> <p>The rebels say that during their stay in N.Ireland they hope to learn how it is possible to keep some vague, half forgotten grievance festering for 100s of years and how best to channel the hatred you have for your neighbours into some sort of cold, irrational festering malevolence.<br /> There are even genuine hopes that being able to determine the enemy from the colour of his skin and not the colour of the flag he is carrying could unite the pale, pock marked Craggy Islanders.<br /> But leaders from both divides insist that without the hatred they have for one another they would struggle to have an identity and that hatred is the only thing that defines them as a nation.<br /> But with their hatred for one another barely 5 years old, few Malians believe they will be able to spin it out over the next 500 years.<br /> Some Malians are already admitting they can’t remember what it is they hate each other for although veterans from The Troubles were quick to point out that such a dilemma has never stopped the people of N.Ireland....not once...not once in over 500 years.....not once in over 500 years of pointless bloodshed, mayhem and violence. </p>