http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54127 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 04:56:52 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54127#post-156322 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:14:56 +0000 dvo4fun 156322@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Got to be a winner perks - loads of laughs all the way through. para 2 is a gem </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54127#post-156251 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 10:39:03 +0000 medici2471 156251@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff Perks ***</p> <p>Perhaps the middle aged man should be pretending to be a 16 year old girl?</p> <p>If they are the more adventurous type the lads could always join the scouts or local church and eventually have a similar experience... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54127#post-156250 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 10:30:54 +0000 Tripod 156250@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>like being tossed off by Edward Scissor-hands</blockquote></p> <p>Oof... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54127#post-156249 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 10:29:45 +0000 Perks 156249@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>UK Surgeons who have given a man a pioneering hand transplant have been hailed as heroes by single men up and down the country. The new technology, which allows a donor's hand to be attached in place of the recipients, will cut the average time for masterbation by 5 minutes by removing the need to 'numb' the hand first.</p> <p> Serial wanker, 17 year old Nic Ireland explained "I can lose up to 60 hours a year sitting on my hand to make it feel like someone else. A transplant will not only save time but if I could have a woman's hand, I won't need to paint my nails every time".</p> <p> Previous attempts at numbing have included a bionic hand, but as one early trialist explained, the long term results were disappointing. "Most men would admit wanting to be 'tugged' by a well known film star" he told us. "But the bionic hand meant it was like being tossed off by Edward Scissor-hands. I was so upset. I was in pieces."</p> <p> Psychologists have warned against deciding to have the procedure without a lot of consideration. Instead they recommend more traditional methods of creating the feeling of someone else touching your penis, such as getting someone else to touch your penis.</p> <p> Paul Goldsmith, head of masterbation research at Oxford University believes giving a hormonal teenager a numb hand is a sure fire way to create a recluse. "It's like giving a young lad an XBox for his birthday" he explained. "They will spend all day in their rooms playing with it, occasionally online, and more often than not whilst talking to a middle aged man pretending to be 16"</p> <p> However Mr Goldsmith admitted he would need to have a good think about other techniques that worked as well as a hand transplant for creating the feeling of numbness. When asked if he had any ideas to numb the hand he said he would have to sleep on it </p>