http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 13:29:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156171 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 19:55:56 +0000 Dick Everyman 156171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pigfucker's Arms? Bet the scratchings are nice...</p> <p>One way or another you are going to have to get some bum sex in just to keep Dawson satisfied... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156160 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 18:41:17 +0000 Squudge 156160@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea, especially if you knock off that last sentence which doesn't work for me.</p> <p>5 from me, because both para. 2 &amp; 3 are fab. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156153 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 17:48:10 +0000 Dawsons creek 156153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is screaming outwards for an anal ending of some kind perhaps with the Wii being wedged up there on a trip to AE? Or a mention of sitting down ages gives the realistic piles with a cold Wii board to sit on?</p> <p>It would be funnier as hell, if I may be so bald. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156134 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:29:12 +0000 dvo4fun 156134@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not sure if the punchline will make the cut (but then I've always been very careful not to overstep the line) but otherwise a full house from me Tripod</p> <p>"For days all you could smell was burning rubber, parma violets and piss. We’ve been getting hate mail from Help the Aged ever since.” is my personal favourite </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156129 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:53:15 +0000 Tripod 156129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I think you may have just got away with it</blockquote></p> <p>Sorry, couldn't fit any bum sex in... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156122 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:36:52 +0000 beau-jolly 156122@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oooh? I think you may have just got away with it. Being a coward I'll wait for the vox pops before associating myself via starrage. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54096#post-156121 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:25:24 +0000 Tripod 156121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The latest crop of video games will replicate real life challenges, says Brent Myerson, CEO of Avanti Games, based in Cambridge. “For too long the rationale of video games has been to kill other human beings, and maybe the occasional robot, alien and vampire too. This does not reflect what life is really like for gamers who don’t happen to live in the shanty towns of Buenos Aires, or who have never ventured into the Pigfucker’s Arms, in Gateshead, on the last Friday night before Christmas. </p> <p>“We’re creating more realistic games that will appeal to those in the gaming community without a borderline personality disorder. But we still have a lot to learn. Last year, for example, we launched a game where the aim was to help little old ladies across the road. Unfortunately, the ‘road’ in question was Copse Corner at Silverstone, on race day. It was carnage. For days all you could smell was burning rubber, parma violets and piss. We’ve been getting hate mail from Help the Aged ever since.”</p> <p>The company is working on other games titles which don't just appeal to testosterone-fuelled 14-year-old boys. A problem-solving game, provisionally called U-bend, addresses the difficulties of getting a plumber - ideally a rotund member of the Italian immigrant diaspora - to come out at the weekend. For the ‘grey surfers’ there’s a new game in which players undertake a quest to find a quiet pub, without loud music, where there’s somewhere to sit down. For the mums there’s ‘Unexpected item in the bagging area’, where a frazzled woman has to drag a screaming kid around a supermarket without being blackmailed into buying him sweets.</p> <p>But old habits die hard. “We’re looking at the educational market too”, said Myerson, “but all we have at the moment is a title, High School Massacre”... </p>