http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53911 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 01:38:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53911#post-155550 Fri, 28 Dec 2012 17:44:00 +0000 JoshSpringer 155550@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following the new ruling by the EU that life insurance premiums for men and women must be equal as from 21 December 2012, statisticians have concluded that men and women now have the same life expectancy.<br /> This discovery by EU policy makers renders all life expectancy tables inaccurate and actuaries now have the urgent task of producing new tables.<br /> One serious problem for the actuaries is to calculate revised life forecasts that will allow the insurance companies to continue to have realistic business models for calculating premiums.<br /> A spokesman for the British Insurers has said that this is good news for men, especially heavy smokers and drinkers, because they can expect to live at least another 3 years longer. Unfortunately for the NHS this will increase the load on cancer and cardio-vasicular wards at a time of cut backs.<br /> There is good news for care homes however. Currently these are occupied mostly by elderly ladies, who, according to the EU can be expected to die sooner, opening up more places for younger residents. As husbands and wives will most likely die within a short time of each other there will be fewer married couple suicide pacts.<br /> Rumours that the Association of Female Pensioners has held a demonstration in London about their shortened life expectations, as did the masses in 1582 who thought they had lost 10 days of life when the Gregorian Calendar was introduced, are not true. </p>