http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53759 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 06:19:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53759#post-155157 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:41:07 +0000 DustyBinLaden 155157@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Warbling pop sensation and Top Gear favourite Jamiroquai has been chosen to put the Queen through her paces for a 3D dance routine she plans to pull off during her address to the nation on Christmas Day.</p> <p>‘I’m proud to be involved in this most prestigious of events,’ said Mr Quai. ‘I guess I was the natural choice given that every video I’ve ever made has had me poncing about, wearing a silly hat in an odd-shaped room to make things look a bit 3D and weird.’</p> <p>Previews of the speech show Her Majesty delivering some of her speech while looking very small in a big room, while other parts show her looking very big in a small room. </p> <p>‘She very cleverly pulls some Jacko moonwalking shit, and will be wearing an oversized furry crown,’ said 3D filmmaker and event director Justin Burke- Crowe. ‘Mr Quai has also insisted that she does the whole thing while the floor moves beneath her feet, which, fair play to the old girl, is going to be a tough call.’</p> <p>There will also be a scene with Gollum where Her Majesty has a schizophrenic debate on the value of a traditional monarch as a touchstone for national pride and tradition versus hundreds years of fawning servitude to an unbroken chain of unelected land grabbers.</p> <p>‘If you look at a British coin and think that the Queen’s slightly raised profile is mesmerising and inexplicable, this will blow your mind,’ said Burke-Crowe. ‘At last, Her Majesty’s loyal subjects will understand that she is just like them, with a nose that sticks out and a back to her head.</p> <p>'Interestingly, no matter how many times we ran test shots with the other royals, Prince Andrew wouldn't come out in 3D.'</p> <p>In order to fully encapsulate the 3D cinematic experience, this year’s speech will be presented as a trilogy, each lasting eight hours. </p>