http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 06:07:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155787 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 11:42:09 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 155787@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely work Mr Bogs </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155775 Mon, 31 Dec 2012 09:42:19 +0000 button 155775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That made me laugh, especailly the last para, which i suppose is a happy ending. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155757 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 18:53:26 +0000 Skoob1999 155757@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And I've got 3000 spoofs to write </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155755 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 18:49:55 +0000 Tripod 155755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>if anyone with clean hands does fancy coming round and giving me a quick tug</blockquote></p> <p>Just checked my diary. Thankfully, I'm washing some curtains this evening... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155752 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 18:36:38 +0000 Skoob1999 155752@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Martin? Martin! Is that you?? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155751 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 18:10:21 +0000 danster 155751@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just a bit of extra info on this matter....</p> <p>I spent today rebuilding an engine (proper mechanic work, not just changing a feckin bulb). Anyway my hands are as black as fook and my fingers are cut to shreds where the pistons rings got me.<br /> Things are that bad I can hardly open the ring pull on my beer.<br /> So the idea of giving myself a celebratory hand job for completing the task, let alone a punter is probably best avoided. One would more than likely end up with heavy oil carcinogens or blood transmitted diseases on your genitally.</p> <p>PS. But if anyone with clean hands does fancy coming round and giving me a quick tug and fluid service I suppose that would be ok. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155350 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 22:00:23 +0000 waylandsmithy 155350@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant, actually funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155241 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 13:34:07 +0000 rickwestwell 155241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is just excellent. Great rude stuff. Chuck it on the FP, and I'll see you in the snug for a quick one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155235 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 11:14:17 +0000 Gerontius 155235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If it's any encouragement to Tony, I've never changed the brake light on a Volvo estate before...but I'm more than happy to give it a go. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155226 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 09:41:32 +0000 Tripod 155226@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The guy offered to "polish the chrome". It's all making sense now... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155225 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 09:40:23 +0000 Jeremy Hunt 155225@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Reminds me of me.Merry Christmas and thank you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155217 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 08:55:01 +0000 charlies_hat 155217@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm sure most mechanics could turn their hand to that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155211 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 07:23:43 +0000 Perks 155211@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, very good </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155155 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 19:26:19 +0000 Yikes 155155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like this piece of enjoyable smut </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53745#post-155104 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 10:56:06 +0000 The Bogs 155104@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Motorists paying a visit to Ditton Bridge Auto Repairs will now be offered hand relief with their new exhaust or oil change, as local mechanic Tony Barragan strives to halt a slide in business at his garage. </p> <p>“Everyone who has a penis enjoys having it rubbed to climax, and adding this service could make the difference between us staying in business or not,” said the garage-owner, outlining the thinking behind his new business strategy.</p> <p> Anecdotal evidence from other service industries, such as the Thai Massage industry, bears Mr Barragan (52) out, as establishments that offer 'extras' are often able to charge more per client and stay profitable while those that don’t are going under.</p> <p>While Tony conceded that he had never wanked another man before, he was confident his personal technique was transferable, and sure that he could pull it off.</p> <p>Initial reaction has been positive, with most clients praising Tony's no-nonsense approach to car repairs and hand-jobs. </p> <p>'Polite, thorough and professional. The brake lights on my Volvo Estate now work fine, and I ejaculated into his oily rag just like he said I would,' was a typical review posted on-line, while many motorists pointed out that it made nice change from just getting shafted. </p>