http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 09:34:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155125 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 12:21:51 +0000 writinginbsl 155125@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep-top ideas from all </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155124 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 12:20:33 +0000 Perks 155124@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea and additions. 5 stars all round </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155120 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 11:56:56 +0000 button 155120@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all, I love Jamsie's idea and VCG's execution. Also Wayland 's bit. If its going to get used maybe the editor can combine it all together? I would, but in all seriousness I'm off out to a crib service this afternoon! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155099 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 10:11:07 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 155099@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely addition from jamsie.</p> <p>Battersea gods home have warned people that a god is a real commitment and not something to be taken lightly.</p> <p>‘People dive into these things at Christmas thinking that it’s a great idea, but it’s not something you should be deciding on the spur of the moment. Once the novelty wears off they will still need to be taken for a pray on cold February mornings, and we are finding it increasingly difficult to re-home unwanted gods. Just last week we had to have Apollo and Odin put to sleep because we weren’t able to find them a home.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155090 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 07:10:44 +0000 antharrison 155090@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>love it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155089 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 07:07:54 +0000 waylandsmithy 155089@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ignore lls123, hecs a wanker.</p> <p>We sponsor a dog. I don't believe in the dog because I've never seen it, but the kids are convinced because the dog botherers keep sending us leaflets with the miraculous story of how it was saved, and how it loves them unconditionally, and can write regular letters with its 'paw of dog'. All I know is they have a powerful control over the kids, and I have to keep sending them 16 quid a month.</p> <p>Dunno if that can be squeezed in... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155058 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 00:08:44 +0000 jamsieoconnor 155058@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stars.....and a bit about a shelter for abandoned gods being unable to find homes for Apollo and Odin any more and explaining about how they'll need to be put to sleep could be a suggestion. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155057 Mon, 24 Dec 2012 00:03:02 +0000 charlies_hat 155057@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>One of your finest. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155051 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 23:20:30 +0000 Boutros 155051@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>oh and 5 bibical stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155050 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 23:19:38 +0000 Boutros 155050@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not satirical enough because it's all true, every bloody word. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155049 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 23:13:26 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 155049@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is there room for a bit more on the dog idea? Something about the novelty wearing off but still having to get up and take it for a pray on a cold February morning? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155048 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 23:11:23 +0000 Username 155048@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* for the headline alone. .. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155046 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 22:49:04 +0000 Yikes 155046@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Absolutely cracking idea! Potential Xmas FP stuff.</p> <p>I do agree could possibly be tidied up a bit towards the end though in saying that nothing obvious springs to mind ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155044 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 21:53:52 +0000 Squudge 155044@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>mm... nice concept.</p> <p>Not just for Christmas, but for funerals and drunken calls down the porcelain telephone too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155041 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 21:38:13 +0000 button 155041@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bit rushed, needs tidying up a bit but wanted to get it on whilst still topical, and no chance of looking at it over the next couple of days what with the magic baby worshiping. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53729#post-155040 Sun, 23 Dec 2012 21:36:36 +0000 button 155040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Every year without fail, on the 25th day of December, hundreds of thousands of normal thinking people chose to dismiss their common sense approach to sky beings, and join other churchgoers to participate in the celebration of the birth of a magic baby.</p> <p>They flock to their local temple of worship, where they pretend to pray whilst greedily imagining what Apple product they may receive this year, even if its probably pretty much the same as the one they got last year with a higher number on the end. They mouth words to hymns they do not know, all the time internally humming Slade’s 'Merry Christmas Everybody' or lusting over Mariah Carey's bottom.</p> <p>The Church’s campaign aims to raise awareness of treating God as a Furby or Airfryer, a fad to be discarded and consigned to the back of a cupboard days after Christmas once the novelty wears off.</p> <p>Head spokesman for the Church of England and lifelong Christian the Archbishop of Canterbury sought to remind those who dabble with god just what long term commitments they must make “Being a Christian is a full time thing, you must have Jesus in your heart 24/7. You must love all men, except of course the gay ones and the Muslims. You must practice forgiveness, especially when it comes to priests, we all make mistakes after all. And you definitely must not covet Mariah Carey's ass, no matter how fine it is. She may sing very well, but then so do choirboys and we don't covet their asses do we. No we definitely do not. And lets no forget an Apple is what got us into all this shit in the first place." </p>