http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 10:19:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153634 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:35:46 +0000 waylandsmithy 153634@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm glad it's not just me that used to masturbate over your music teacher. There was just something about his halitosis and awful skin that made him seem so vulnerable. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153632 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:28:01 +0000 Tess Goes 153632@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's been a long time since I was at grammar school, and to be honest, I did play truant most of the time albeit masturbating about my music teacher camouflaged in the woods in my purple blazer ; I guess you'll understand the picture.<br /> If I got paid 50p for every time I've been called a twat,, I could buy a Cappuccino @ Starbucks and thus contribute to this land of no hope and no glory.<br /> You are both funny, in a straight talking way, and I like that.<br /> Thanks for the advice xx </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153624 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:39:11 +0000 Squudge 153624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tess - having read the original article in the dailyrant I now see why you might be disposed to be slightly incoherent. Trust F Boyle to make a vaguely worthy action seem nauseatingly cunty.</p> <p>I wouldn't mind someone calling me a 'racist' for £50K - one wonders if he'd have got 50p out of being called a 'Twat' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153623 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:36:56 +0000 waylandsmithy 153623@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Actually, that's a great story to satirise. But I think you need to be less obtuse, it's OK to actually name him and briefly explain the story. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153619 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:32:57 +0000 waylandsmithy 153619@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can always edit it...click on the green 'edit' text at the bottom of the sub, you've got about 6 hours before it's locked. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153616 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:30:16 +0000 Tess Goes 153616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm new to writing in public and appreciate your comment..<br /> I tend to be tiddley when I write anyways, though the story was related to Frankie Boyle </p> <p><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248539/Comedian-Frankie-Boyle-pledges-use-50-000-payout-help-Briton-Guantanamo-sue-MI6.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248539/Comedian-Frankie-Boyle-pledges-use-50-000-payout-help-Briton-Guantanamo-sue-MI6.html</a></p> <p>Probably a lame first attempt, but I shall try :-) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153614 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:23:47 +0000 waylandsmithy 153614@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This feels a bit disjointed and confused. Might be worth editing it down and sticking to the point a bit more. Also, I don't actually understand the headline. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53305#post-153606 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:04:45 +0000 Tess Goes 153606@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A certain Television Twat (inverted commas) "Comedian" who happens to originate from a northern part of England - formerly known as Scotland, appears to have a grudge against his Lords and Masters.<br /> Not known for racism, this funny guy got The Beano when The Dandy went online and scooped £50 000 from a Judge who decided comics shouldn't be funny thus leaving those at The Mirror "newspaper" without a Christmas party this year.<br /> The Total and Utter Bastard, not content with upsetting journalists who are capable of constructing sentences with no more than three words, who generally live in Essex, then decided to devote his money to a worthy cause...</p> <p>"Mo" (Not his real name), has been wearing the same pair of orange dungarees for eleven years - complains of lack of pockets and a moral compass, and has been locked up surrounded by big butch men from the army on a naval base, while the navy sail their ships by night and is hoping to be on a plane by Christmas.<br /> The suspected terrorist, who originates from Saudi, once stayed at a bed and breakfast in good old blighty during a rather inconvenient bomb scare mid flight, and was so traumatised by the experience explained to me that he wants to sue Mrs Miggins, the owner of "Cozy Feet B&amp;B" and well and truly shaft her.</p> <p>Not content with that, he'd like a 1 million pound council house in Fulham for his family whilst he dreams of frequently flying back to his tent in the desert if his shoes or muddy undergarments don't explode, and sending all the bloody foreigners home after a lengthy legal case paid for by English taxpayers.<br /> Assuming of course that any English Tourist would want to visit his hovel, and that he's changed his dungarees for something more in keeping with the Fashionistas Sisters. </p>